Csdrhrt

I work in a small startup of 10 people in a house converted to an office that's spread across 3 floors. I am friendly with all coworkers including people from another startup that's sharing the space.

I love shopping for my needs online. E-commerce has tremendously improved to the point that there is nothing I'd have to step out for these days and find it all on Amazon. From t-shirts to my hamster's food to gifts for my parents - I order it all online and have it delivered to workplace because that's where I am there all through the week. Note that in Bangalore, you cannot schedule deliveries.

My coworkers who am friendly with often jibe at my deliveries. At first I tried to reason by telling what the package was and justifying how much I needed it. Then their constant jibes with every package is getting to my patience. How is it any of their business to question my buying habits or purchases?

Deliveries are picked up at the door by our office manager. It doesn't bother anyone in any other way. Then why do they bother me with questions? I'm starting to feel guilty and scared to spend my own money. I'm starting to feel harassed because every time I want to place an order I feel ashamed.

Edit: After reading all the answers, I am clarifying the following:

1. You should not shop on the company's time.

I shop on my own time. I simply schedule my deliveries to my workplace.

2. My boss's take:

My boss is OK with scheduling personal deliveries to workplace. He himself orders a lot of things online - but obviously nobody questions him. He doesn't make fun of me, and sometimes asks what I got. He often opens his own packages in front of everyone in order to show us what he got. The packages he doesn't open in front of us nobody bugs him about.

3. Meaning of "taking jibes" and "making fun":

The only other female co-worker I have is friendly with me (and vice versa) but she is not a online buyer, and hence finds it absurd that I do. Her constant commenting every time a package arrives is feeding a stereotype that I am a shopaholic, which the others have picked up on. I don't think it's anyone else's business to figure out whether I am a shopaholic or not.

4. Deliveries:

Another team is situated on the ground floor and it is they who receive packages by indicating the delivery man to leave it on the table. The office manager will then send an internal communication to allow her to receive and post (if any packages) through her as she thinks it saves us a trip.

5. Are they opening your packages?

No, they are not.

6. Are they making fun of the things you are buying, that you buy everything online, or that you have everything delivered to work?

They are making fun of my buying habits. Even though the Bangalore is known to be a hub for delivery startups, the idea of having of ordering so many things online is alien to a lot of people. Hence there is always some excitement when one receives package (which to me sounds a bit childish). Why should they get excited over someone else's package? Do they implicitly think it's some shiny toy that the person receiving will flaunt around?

7. Do I open these packages in front of others?

No, I take the box and keep it with me quietly. Yet, the fact that I received a box attracts attention.

UPDATE

After more than 3 years of leaving that workspace, I'd like to update that am still a very much an online shopper. At my current workplace, when I worked in a smaller team, I was still asked strange questions like "how much do you buy" and such. I moved to a bigger team now
and don't get asked that as the trend of buying online is more prevalent among others too. But I also do not get any deliveries to office, I get them delivered to my home where I have a dedicated space for my deliveries and all the regular delivery folks know where to deliver my items.

Now, when people are being nosy about my shopping, I answer them with silence or at best a sly smile and continue doing my work. Ignoring people is an option that has worked for me.

Be weird and own it, or conform

It sounds to me like:

• you really love online shopping and don't really want to quit it


• you realize it's not the norm yet among most of your coworkers, so you're not "normal" in how you get these packages


• you're generally being discreet, and not really doing anything that would invite commentary, but you are getting commentary because your behavior stands out


• there's no concern on your part or the company's that frequent package delivery is a drain on company resources. In particular, your boss is cool with it and generally supportive, so there's not a big risk of a problem with your performance appraisals.

I've been in this situation in the US about similar issues. In fact, as a person who lived alone and who wanted to get specialty items that required delivery, I did the same, back when no one was getting deliveries and I got my fair share of curiosity from the mail office in a company that was big enough that none of my day to day coworkers noticed. I've also been intentionally quirky in other ways and gotten my fair share of teasing.

Sadly - I find that if I'm going to be unusual in how I behave, then I have to be willing to accept some degree of harmless teasing and intense curiosity. I find that:

• If I don't get visibly annoyed or embarrassed, it starts to get boring for everyone who is mocking me and they usually give up out of disinterest.


• Sometimes the trends catch up - 15 years ago, deliveries to the office were strange in the US and it was also hard to have a delivery to the home that didn't require a signature. Now it's much easier to get or schedule home deliveries and many more people do it - you may just be able to wait for Bangalore to catch up.


• You can try explaining that there's an office benefit - you're getting the deliveries so you don't have to take the time later to go to a local shop and buy them, so everyone else is slacking by not doing the same.


• In particular, it may be worth disclosing what you bought when you bought basic and boring supplies - like groceries, cleaning supplies or other everyday items. Everyone buys this stuff, it's not like you have a crazy shopping addiction, and it's fair that if you bought groceries and household cleaner and you're getting teased, you can tease back that you certainly hope you coworkers have also bought household cleaners or their homes must be very dirty!!!


• It may be that since the boss is often showing what he bought, and it's generally cool, fun, luxury stuff that they all assume that you are buying similarly fun stuff, and showing that your deliveries are often mundane will cause the curiosity to cease.

That said - you still may end up being "that person who gets everything delivered" and it's true - you are the unusual person. If it will continue to bug you because you want to be private, then you have to consider whether the ease of delivery is worth the value of your privacy - one way or the other, getting stuff delivered to the office is exposing the fact that you get stuff delivered to your coworkers.

Note: Edits made in light of OP update.

I'll be blunt: you made a mistake by trying to justify your behavior. You're an adult who may choose to spend your money in any way you like.

There's really two aspects to this situation.

1. (I still maintain that) Shopping Is Not a Work Activity

I understand that there's certain circumstances which require you to receive your packages at work. As long as that's OK with your boss it should be fine.

However, the deliveries in and of themselves may be seen as a special event by the people around you, so saying that they don't "bother anyone in any other way" may only be true from your own biased perspective. You think that them being "excited" or in any way bothered by your deliveries is "childish", but again, that's your perspective.

After reading about how your boss also gets deliveries maybe ask yourself this: is your boss perceived as having quite a bit of money, or ordering very fancy things online? If so, then your colleagues may be equating your own shopping with his. You may only be getting toilet paper, yet they may be imagining fancy electronics, or designer brand clothing. Have you considered this aspect?

As a general reference for other people: you should not open personal packages at work, or fuss over what you've received. Simply put the package under your desk, or in a closet until quitting time, and don't attract attention to your delivery.

2. Dealing With It

Old

Separate your private life from your work life as much as possible.

• Don't spend time shopping online at work (even if it's on a private device during lunch time), where these guys can see you.


• Don't talk about your online purchases with them. You may mention that you bought something, but don't necessarily mention that you did so online.


• Try to simply disregard their teasing - it shouldn't be bothering you that much in the first place. Simply diffuse the situation by changing the subject.

Note: If they pick up your packages, try to open them, or go through your things then it becomes an entirely different issue. In that case immediately contact your manager and involve office HR. This sort of thing cannot be tolerated in any way, shape, or form.

Edit in light of update:

First of all, I would like to say that I honestly think that jealousy or envy are playing a role in the way that your co-workers are behaving toward you.

In your situation I would seek to understand their perception - even if you don't agree with it, or think them childish. How else are you going to know how to handle them?

Second, why is it that these comments bother you so much? You order a lot of things online: maybe you're not a shopaholic, but acknowledge that to an outsider (to your personal life and needs) you may well appear to be one. Maybe join in on the joke:

-You're such a shopaholic!
-Yea, I totally am. Oh well, silly me!"

Alternatively, if you just can't live with the situation, try talking to the main instigator in private and ask them to stop.

Involving the manager would probably only come across as immature.

Frankly, after reading the updates, I'm not sure why it took an entire forum of people discussing the situation to reach this solution.

Let's put this situation into perspective.

• A package being received has been traditionally seen as something special, so usually people's gut reaction is to be curious and ask what it is.


• Your coworkers are trying to have fun with you, but in many cases like this they don't realize how annoying it is.


• At my work the boss has stated that if we want to receive personal packages here there's nothing wrong with that, just to keep in mind that people might accidentally open it because they were expecting a package as well.

So with that being said I think you should try to be a little bit less sensitive about people asking in general. Really this isn't any different from being a police officer. Everywhere that man/woman walks people look at them with curiosity, they wear a gun, a special uniform etc. They have to accept and deal with it.

However, the constant interruption over the package is annoying, so let's address that.

My suggestion is to not be confrontational about it unless it is a last resort.

• Consider asking the office manager to keep packages for you at the front and you will pickup at lunch/end of day because it's causing unnecessary interruptions with your coworkers


• When people ask about the contents answer as if it's just a usual, nothing special occurrence "Just some stuff for around the house, I've always got a lot of items in the queue so I'm not sure what it is".

Again, it's important to realize that for some people this ordering of everything online is super foreign. I too order everything I can on Amazon and even subscribe to the recurring deliveries of toilet paper.

Ultimately I think your goal is to lesson the recurring interruptions and repeated questions about the contents of your package, so all you can do is not give the package any special attention and accept the environment that you're in.

Don't feed the machine. If someone asks you what is in a box you ordered, simply reply that it is "stuff," and go back to what you were doing. If they ask what kind of stuff, say, "Stuff I need." Then go back to doing whatever you were doing. If they insist on continuing to ask, tell them you have work to do. If you don't play along with their game, the game will eventually end.

Encourage your co-workers to follow your example.

"Looks like you got another package."

"Yes, it's very convenient to have them delivered here. You should try it too!"