Manager keeps playing alpha games











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I'm not sure how else to explain this, but my manager keeps playing little power games with me. Being slightly disrespectful, playing physical domination games in person and not taking things seriously, being absent-minded in meetings, being late, scheduling in very inconvenient ways for me but convenient for them. The manager got a big promotion the past year and I noticed a change in attitude. I notice the more sycophantic and beggar-like I communicate, the quicker and more responsive the manager is. I dug my own hole in this situation because I bent-over-backwards the first few months we were working together as I was excited for a new great opportunity, but I feel if I keep being submissive the manager will not respect me (promote me, help me, etc.) and the power games will continue.



We are in a setting where I am a novice to the field and the manager has complete control over me. The manager has great connections, and I want our partnership to flourish and for them to help my career. One more thing. I was in a weaker position from the beginning of my time on this team because I was pulled in from a weaker background than most people. I noticed the manager communicates with other people differently (and they communicate with the manager differently).










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  • 2




    How long have you been at this company?
    – Twyxz
    14 hours ago










  • Your manager may have some issues but what are you trying to accomplish?
    – sf02
    14 hours ago








  • 1




    There's no version of this story where you convince your manager that you should be respected. Forgive my bluntness, but your manager sees you as a dog, and you'll always be a dog. I've seen a few of these in my time. You can try to earn that respect, but this assumes your manager is objective enough to notice your progress and effort. If you definitely confirm that he might change his perception, then you have a chance. Otherwise, be prepared to never be respected for your work, no matter how competent you prove to be.
    – ShinEmperor
    13 hours ago










  • Maybe you are overreacting. If you are novice on the field you still have things to learn.
    – Juan Carlos Oropeza
    12 hours ago










  • You no longer want to be a 'yes-man'?
    – Kilisi
    11 hours ago















up vote
6
down vote

favorite












I'm not sure how else to explain this, but my manager keeps playing little power games with me. Being slightly disrespectful, playing physical domination games in person and not taking things seriously, being absent-minded in meetings, being late, scheduling in very inconvenient ways for me but convenient for them. The manager got a big promotion the past year and I noticed a change in attitude. I notice the more sycophantic and beggar-like I communicate, the quicker and more responsive the manager is. I dug my own hole in this situation because I bent-over-backwards the first few months we were working together as I was excited for a new great opportunity, but I feel if I keep being submissive the manager will not respect me (promote me, help me, etc.) and the power games will continue.



We are in a setting where I am a novice to the field and the manager has complete control over me. The manager has great connections, and I want our partnership to flourish and for them to help my career. One more thing. I was in a weaker position from the beginning of my time on this team because I was pulled in from a weaker background than most people. I noticed the manager communicates with other people differently (and they communicate with the manager differently).










share|improve this question









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  • 2




    How long have you been at this company?
    – Twyxz
    14 hours ago










  • Your manager may have some issues but what are you trying to accomplish?
    – sf02
    14 hours ago








  • 1




    There's no version of this story where you convince your manager that you should be respected. Forgive my bluntness, but your manager sees you as a dog, and you'll always be a dog. I've seen a few of these in my time. You can try to earn that respect, but this assumes your manager is objective enough to notice your progress and effort. If you definitely confirm that he might change his perception, then you have a chance. Otherwise, be prepared to never be respected for your work, no matter how competent you prove to be.
    – ShinEmperor
    13 hours ago










  • Maybe you are overreacting. If you are novice on the field you still have things to learn.
    – Juan Carlos Oropeza
    12 hours ago










  • You no longer want to be a 'yes-man'?
    – Kilisi
    11 hours ago













up vote
6
down vote

favorite









up vote
6
down vote

favorite











I'm not sure how else to explain this, but my manager keeps playing little power games with me. Being slightly disrespectful, playing physical domination games in person and not taking things seriously, being absent-minded in meetings, being late, scheduling in very inconvenient ways for me but convenient for them. The manager got a big promotion the past year and I noticed a change in attitude. I notice the more sycophantic and beggar-like I communicate, the quicker and more responsive the manager is. I dug my own hole in this situation because I bent-over-backwards the first few months we were working together as I was excited for a new great opportunity, but I feel if I keep being submissive the manager will not respect me (promote me, help me, etc.) and the power games will continue.



We are in a setting where I am a novice to the field and the manager has complete control over me. The manager has great connections, and I want our partnership to flourish and for them to help my career. One more thing. I was in a weaker position from the beginning of my time on this team because I was pulled in from a weaker background than most people. I noticed the manager communicates with other people differently (and they communicate with the manager differently).










share|improve this question









New contributor




EasterBunny is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.











I'm not sure how else to explain this, but my manager keeps playing little power games with me. Being slightly disrespectful, playing physical domination games in person and not taking things seriously, being absent-minded in meetings, being late, scheduling in very inconvenient ways for me but convenient for them. The manager got a big promotion the past year and I noticed a change in attitude. I notice the more sycophantic and beggar-like I communicate, the quicker and more responsive the manager is. I dug my own hole in this situation because I bent-over-backwards the first few months we were working together as I was excited for a new great opportunity, but I feel if I keep being submissive the manager will not respect me (promote me, help me, etc.) and the power games will continue.



We are in a setting where I am a novice to the field and the manager has complete control over me. The manager has great connections, and I want our partnership to flourish and for them to help my career. One more thing. I was in a weaker position from the beginning of my time on this team because I was pulled in from a weaker background than most people. I noticed the manager communicates with other people differently (and they communicate with the manager differently).







management






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edited 12 hours ago









Richard U

84.8k63219335




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asked 14 hours ago









EasterBunny

341




341




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Check out our Code of Conduct.






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Check out our Code of Conduct.








  • 2




    How long have you been at this company?
    – Twyxz
    14 hours ago










  • Your manager may have some issues but what are you trying to accomplish?
    – sf02
    14 hours ago








  • 1




    There's no version of this story where you convince your manager that you should be respected. Forgive my bluntness, but your manager sees you as a dog, and you'll always be a dog. I've seen a few of these in my time. You can try to earn that respect, but this assumes your manager is objective enough to notice your progress and effort. If you definitely confirm that he might change his perception, then you have a chance. Otherwise, be prepared to never be respected for your work, no matter how competent you prove to be.
    – ShinEmperor
    13 hours ago










  • Maybe you are overreacting. If you are novice on the field you still have things to learn.
    – Juan Carlos Oropeza
    12 hours ago










  • You no longer want to be a 'yes-man'?
    – Kilisi
    11 hours ago














  • 2




    How long have you been at this company?
    – Twyxz
    14 hours ago










  • Your manager may have some issues but what are you trying to accomplish?
    – sf02
    14 hours ago








  • 1




    There's no version of this story where you convince your manager that you should be respected. Forgive my bluntness, but your manager sees you as a dog, and you'll always be a dog. I've seen a few of these in my time. You can try to earn that respect, but this assumes your manager is objective enough to notice your progress and effort. If you definitely confirm that he might change his perception, then you have a chance. Otherwise, be prepared to never be respected for your work, no matter how competent you prove to be.
    – ShinEmperor
    13 hours ago










  • Maybe you are overreacting. If you are novice on the field you still have things to learn.
    – Juan Carlos Oropeza
    12 hours ago










  • You no longer want to be a 'yes-man'?
    – Kilisi
    11 hours ago








2




2




How long have you been at this company?
– Twyxz
14 hours ago




How long have you been at this company?
– Twyxz
14 hours ago












Your manager may have some issues but what are you trying to accomplish?
– sf02
14 hours ago






Your manager may have some issues but what are you trying to accomplish?
– sf02
14 hours ago






1




1




There's no version of this story where you convince your manager that you should be respected. Forgive my bluntness, but your manager sees you as a dog, and you'll always be a dog. I've seen a few of these in my time. You can try to earn that respect, but this assumes your manager is objective enough to notice your progress and effort. If you definitely confirm that he might change his perception, then you have a chance. Otherwise, be prepared to never be respected for your work, no matter how competent you prove to be.
– ShinEmperor
13 hours ago




There's no version of this story where you convince your manager that you should be respected. Forgive my bluntness, but your manager sees you as a dog, and you'll always be a dog. I've seen a few of these in my time. You can try to earn that respect, but this assumes your manager is objective enough to notice your progress and effort. If you definitely confirm that he might change his perception, then you have a chance. Otherwise, be prepared to never be respected for your work, no matter how competent you prove to be.
– ShinEmperor
13 hours ago












Maybe you are overreacting. If you are novice on the field you still have things to learn.
– Juan Carlos Oropeza
12 hours ago




Maybe you are overreacting. If you are novice on the field you still have things to learn.
– Juan Carlos Oropeza
12 hours ago












You no longer want to be a 'yes-man'?
– Kilisi
11 hours ago




You no longer want to be a 'yes-man'?
– Kilisi
11 hours ago










3 Answers
3






active

oldest

votes

















up vote
6
down vote













You cannot change him, but you can change yourself, and that will change the relationship.



The #1 thing you need to do to change the dynamic is to stop smiling and laughing so much in response to his antics. Smiling and laughing (unless something actually funny happens) is often a subservient response to higher status people. Once you are aware of this, you'll see it a lot in social interactions.



I recommend doing this gradually over a couple of weeks. If you do it all at once it will be jarring to your manager who will (correctly) see it as a power/status play, and will likely take it as a sign of discontent and/or hostility. That's not completely incorrect, of course, but I'm assuming you want to mask it a bit to smooth things over. Doing it over a couple of weeks will still be jarring to the manager, but won't be seen as quite a naked power/status play.



Oh, and stop begging, no matter how much slower it makes him respond.






share|improve this answer






























    up vote
    3
    down vote













    1) Never beg at work. You are pushing towards the same goal, which is making the company money to pay your salary. That should be your goal, and that should be your manager's goal (with respect to paying his salary, not yours, although in a work situation there is "a rising tide lifts all ships" effect). If your product is delayed due to his lack of communication, then your company loses money and your boss doesn't get his salary. He (should) has a vested interest in making you succeed, because if you don't succeed then his salary might not get paid. Therefore, rather than say:




    Hey, Joe, could I please have xxx thing I need? I'll buy you a coffee if you send it to me.




    You should be saying:




    Hey, Joe, I need xxx thing to complete yyy task. If I can't get xxx by end of day today, then it will cause the project to be delayed by zzz time scale.




    Now your manager has an incentive: If he doesn't give you what you need, his project will be delayed and he'll look bad to his higher-ups. In particular, though, you should do this over email; the reason is because these sorts of people tend to like to blame others when their megalomaniacal antics go awry. So you should keep a record of this so when HR calls you in for insubordination and sabotage (which they might, in an extreme case) you can show them the letter you sent:




    I told Joe on xxx day that the project would be delayed by zzz time. He did not give me the resources I requested, and as such the project was delayed by zzz time as I predicted. Joe had knowledge of the situation and mismanaged his team. Here's a copy of the email I sent to Joe.




    2) You did not dig your own hole. It is normal for people new to a company or industry to act more deferential to their superiors when they first entered a new company. Your manager should not be treating you this way regardless, and the fact that you are a novice or from whatever background should have no bearing on anything in this situation.






    share|improve this answer




























      up vote
      -1
      down vote













      Welcome to the human condition and indeed the workplace!



      At work you're always someones subordinate unless you're the owner of the company.

      (arguably they are subordinate to the client but that's another matter)



      While you're not supposed to be treated disrespectfully you better accept the afforementioned fact.



      That means, out of convenience, necessity or indifference people will schedule meetings and will do things that inconvenience you instead of them.



      Unless your actual work is detrimentally influenced by this or it reaches into the out of bounds private area of your life, SUCK IT UP!



      Do your work to the best of your abilities and improve yourself while doing so.



      Discuss your work objectively, think for yourself and if you have issues with task assignments or found improvements COMMUNICATE.



      Keep personal feelings out of work relationships.



      Find another company (or team) to work at if you feel you can't work with the person you described in your post.
      (it's unlikely that you'll change them)



      Don't dwell on it and make sure you're happy at your workplace and with your work.






      share|improve this answer























      • There's a difference between being a subordinate and, as @ShinEmperor so eloquently put, being seen as a dog.
        – Jim Clay
        6 hours ago










      • @JimClay which I pointed out "not supposed to be treated disrespectfully"...mind you, many treat their dogs much better than humans, so...
        – DigitalBlade969
        6 hours ago













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      3 Answers
      3






      active

      oldest

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      3 Answers
      3






      active

      oldest

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      active

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      active

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      up vote
      6
      down vote













      You cannot change him, but you can change yourself, and that will change the relationship.



      The #1 thing you need to do to change the dynamic is to stop smiling and laughing so much in response to his antics. Smiling and laughing (unless something actually funny happens) is often a subservient response to higher status people. Once you are aware of this, you'll see it a lot in social interactions.



      I recommend doing this gradually over a couple of weeks. If you do it all at once it will be jarring to your manager who will (correctly) see it as a power/status play, and will likely take it as a sign of discontent and/or hostility. That's not completely incorrect, of course, but I'm assuming you want to mask it a bit to smooth things over. Doing it over a couple of weeks will still be jarring to the manager, but won't be seen as quite a naked power/status play.



      Oh, and stop begging, no matter how much slower it makes him respond.






      share|improve this answer



























        up vote
        6
        down vote













        You cannot change him, but you can change yourself, and that will change the relationship.



        The #1 thing you need to do to change the dynamic is to stop smiling and laughing so much in response to his antics. Smiling and laughing (unless something actually funny happens) is often a subservient response to higher status people. Once you are aware of this, you'll see it a lot in social interactions.



        I recommend doing this gradually over a couple of weeks. If you do it all at once it will be jarring to your manager who will (correctly) see it as a power/status play, and will likely take it as a sign of discontent and/or hostility. That's not completely incorrect, of course, but I'm assuming you want to mask it a bit to smooth things over. Doing it over a couple of weeks will still be jarring to the manager, but won't be seen as quite a naked power/status play.



        Oh, and stop begging, no matter how much slower it makes him respond.






        share|improve this answer

























          up vote
          6
          down vote










          up vote
          6
          down vote









          You cannot change him, but you can change yourself, and that will change the relationship.



          The #1 thing you need to do to change the dynamic is to stop smiling and laughing so much in response to his antics. Smiling and laughing (unless something actually funny happens) is often a subservient response to higher status people. Once you are aware of this, you'll see it a lot in social interactions.



          I recommend doing this gradually over a couple of weeks. If you do it all at once it will be jarring to your manager who will (correctly) see it as a power/status play, and will likely take it as a sign of discontent and/or hostility. That's not completely incorrect, of course, but I'm assuming you want to mask it a bit to smooth things over. Doing it over a couple of weeks will still be jarring to the manager, but won't be seen as quite a naked power/status play.



          Oh, and stop begging, no matter how much slower it makes him respond.






          share|improve this answer














          You cannot change him, but you can change yourself, and that will change the relationship.



          The #1 thing you need to do to change the dynamic is to stop smiling and laughing so much in response to his antics. Smiling and laughing (unless something actually funny happens) is often a subservient response to higher status people. Once you are aware of this, you'll see it a lot in social interactions.



          I recommend doing this gradually over a couple of weeks. If you do it all at once it will be jarring to your manager who will (correctly) see it as a power/status play, and will likely take it as a sign of discontent and/or hostility. That's not completely incorrect, of course, but I'm assuming you want to mask it a bit to smooth things over. Doing it over a couple of weeks will still be jarring to the manager, but won't be seen as quite a naked power/status play.



          Oh, and stop begging, no matter how much slower it makes him respond.







          share|improve this answer














          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer








          edited 11 hours ago

























          answered 12 hours ago









          Jim Clay

          917914




          917914
























              up vote
              3
              down vote













              1) Never beg at work. You are pushing towards the same goal, which is making the company money to pay your salary. That should be your goal, and that should be your manager's goal (with respect to paying his salary, not yours, although in a work situation there is "a rising tide lifts all ships" effect). If your product is delayed due to his lack of communication, then your company loses money and your boss doesn't get his salary. He (should) has a vested interest in making you succeed, because if you don't succeed then his salary might not get paid. Therefore, rather than say:




              Hey, Joe, could I please have xxx thing I need? I'll buy you a coffee if you send it to me.




              You should be saying:




              Hey, Joe, I need xxx thing to complete yyy task. If I can't get xxx by end of day today, then it will cause the project to be delayed by zzz time scale.




              Now your manager has an incentive: If he doesn't give you what you need, his project will be delayed and he'll look bad to his higher-ups. In particular, though, you should do this over email; the reason is because these sorts of people tend to like to blame others when their megalomaniacal antics go awry. So you should keep a record of this so when HR calls you in for insubordination and sabotage (which they might, in an extreme case) you can show them the letter you sent:




              I told Joe on xxx day that the project would be delayed by zzz time. He did not give me the resources I requested, and as such the project was delayed by zzz time as I predicted. Joe had knowledge of the situation and mismanaged his team. Here's a copy of the email I sent to Joe.




              2) You did not dig your own hole. It is normal for people new to a company or industry to act more deferential to their superiors when they first entered a new company. Your manager should not be treating you this way regardless, and the fact that you are a novice or from whatever background should have no bearing on anything in this situation.






              share|improve this answer

























                up vote
                3
                down vote













                1) Never beg at work. You are pushing towards the same goal, which is making the company money to pay your salary. That should be your goal, and that should be your manager's goal (with respect to paying his salary, not yours, although in a work situation there is "a rising tide lifts all ships" effect). If your product is delayed due to his lack of communication, then your company loses money and your boss doesn't get his salary. He (should) has a vested interest in making you succeed, because if you don't succeed then his salary might not get paid. Therefore, rather than say:




                Hey, Joe, could I please have xxx thing I need? I'll buy you a coffee if you send it to me.




                You should be saying:




                Hey, Joe, I need xxx thing to complete yyy task. If I can't get xxx by end of day today, then it will cause the project to be delayed by zzz time scale.




                Now your manager has an incentive: If he doesn't give you what you need, his project will be delayed and he'll look bad to his higher-ups. In particular, though, you should do this over email; the reason is because these sorts of people tend to like to blame others when their megalomaniacal antics go awry. So you should keep a record of this so when HR calls you in for insubordination and sabotage (which they might, in an extreme case) you can show them the letter you sent:




                I told Joe on xxx day that the project would be delayed by zzz time. He did not give me the resources I requested, and as such the project was delayed by zzz time as I predicted. Joe had knowledge of the situation and mismanaged his team. Here's a copy of the email I sent to Joe.




                2) You did not dig your own hole. It is normal for people new to a company or industry to act more deferential to their superiors when they first entered a new company. Your manager should not be treating you this way regardless, and the fact that you are a novice or from whatever background should have no bearing on anything in this situation.






                share|improve this answer























                  up vote
                  3
                  down vote










                  up vote
                  3
                  down vote









                  1) Never beg at work. You are pushing towards the same goal, which is making the company money to pay your salary. That should be your goal, and that should be your manager's goal (with respect to paying his salary, not yours, although in a work situation there is "a rising tide lifts all ships" effect). If your product is delayed due to his lack of communication, then your company loses money and your boss doesn't get his salary. He (should) has a vested interest in making you succeed, because if you don't succeed then his salary might not get paid. Therefore, rather than say:




                  Hey, Joe, could I please have xxx thing I need? I'll buy you a coffee if you send it to me.




                  You should be saying:




                  Hey, Joe, I need xxx thing to complete yyy task. If I can't get xxx by end of day today, then it will cause the project to be delayed by zzz time scale.




                  Now your manager has an incentive: If he doesn't give you what you need, his project will be delayed and he'll look bad to his higher-ups. In particular, though, you should do this over email; the reason is because these sorts of people tend to like to blame others when their megalomaniacal antics go awry. So you should keep a record of this so when HR calls you in for insubordination and sabotage (which they might, in an extreme case) you can show them the letter you sent:




                  I told Joe on xxx day that the project would be delayed by zzz time. He did not give me the resources I requested, and as such the project was delayed by zzz time as I predicted. Joe had knowledge of the situation and mismanaged his team. Here's a copy of the email I sent to Joe.




                  2) You did not dig your own hole. It is normal for people new to a company or industry to act more deferential to their superiors when they first entered a new company. Your manager should not be treating you this way regardless, and the fact that you are a novice or from whatever background should have no bearing on anything in this situation.






                  share|improve this answer












                  1) Never beg at work. You are pushing towards the same goal, which is making the company money to pay your salary. That should be your goal, and that should be your manager's goal (with respect to paying his salary, not yours, although in a work situation there is "a rising tide lifts all ships" effect). If your product is delayed due to his lack of communication, then your company loses money and your boss doesn't get his salary. He (should) has a vested interest in making you succeed, because if you don't succeed then his salary might not get paid. Therefore, rather than say:




                  Hey, Joe, could I please have xxx thing I need? I'll buy you a coffee if you send it to me.




                  You should be saying:




                  Hey, Joe, I need xxx thing to complete yyy task. If I can't get xxx by end of day today, then it will cause the project to be delayed by zzz time scale.




                  Now your manager has an incentive: If he doesn't give you what you need, his project will be delayed and he'll look bad to his higher-ups. In particular, though, you should do this over email; the reason is because these sorts of people tend to like to blame others when their megalomaniacal antics go awry. So you should keep a record of this so when HR calls you in for insubordination and sabotage (which they might, in an extreme case) you can show them the letter you sent:




                  I told Joe on xxx day that the project would be delayed by zzz time. He did not give me the resources I requested, and as such the project was delayed by zzz time as I predicted. Joe had knowledge of the situation and mismanaged his team. Here's a copy of the email I sent to Joe.




                  2) You did not dig your own hole. It is normal for people new to a company or industry to act more deferential to their superiors when they first entered a new company. Your manager should not be treating you this way regardless, and the fact that you are a novice or from whatever background should have no bearing on anything in this situation.







                  share|improve this answer












                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer










                  answered 8 hours ago









                  Ertai87

                  6,5811619




                  6,5811619






















                      up vote
                      -1
                      down vote













                      Welcome to the human condition and indeed the workplace!



                      At work you're always someones subordinate unless you're the owner of the company.

                      (arguably they are subordinate to the client but that's another matter)



                      While you're not supposed to be treated disrespectfully you better accept the afforementioned fact.



                      That means, out of convenience, necessity or indifference people will schedule meetings and will do things that inconvenience you instead of them.



                      Unless your actual work is detrimentally influenced by this or it reaches into the out of bounds private area of your life, SUCK IT UP!



                      Do your work to the best of your abilities and improve yourself while doing so.



                      Discuss your work objectively, think for yourself and if you have issues with task assignments or found improvements COMMUNICATE.



                      Keep personal feelings out of work relationships.



                      Find another company (or team) to work at if you feel you can't work with the person you described in your post.
                      (it's unlikely that you'll change them)



                      Don't dwell on it and make sure you're happy at your workplace and with your work.






                      share|improve this answer























                      • There's a difference between being a subordinate and, as @ShinEmperor so eloquently put, being seen as a dog.
                        – Jim Clay
                        6 hours ago










                      • @JimClay which I pointed out "not supposed to be treated disrespectfully"...mind you, many treat their dogs much better than humans, so...
                        – DigitalBlade969
                        6 hours ago

















                      up vote
                      -1
                      down vote













                      Welcome to the human condition and indeed the workplace!



                      At work you're always someones subordinate unless you're the owner of the company.

                      (arguably they are subordinate to the client but that's another matter)



                      While you're not supposed to be treated disrespectfully you better accept the afforementioned fact.



                      That means, out of convenience, necessity or indifference people will schedule meetings and will do things that inconvenience you instead of them.



                      Unless your actual work is detrimentally influenced by this or it reaches into the out of bounds private area of your life, SUCK IT UP!



                      Do your work to the best of your abilities and improve yourself while doing so.



                      Discuss your work objectively, think for yourself and if you have issues with task assignments or found improvements COMMUNICATE.



                      Keep personal feelings out of work relationships.



                      Find another company (or team) to work at if you feel you can't work with the person you described in your post.
                      (it's unlikely that you'll change them)



                      Don't dwell on it and make sure you're happy at your workplace and with your work.






                      share|improve this answer























                      • There's a difference between being a subordinate and, as @ShinEmperor so eloquently put, being seen as a dog.
                        – Jim Clay
                        6 hours ago










                      • @JimClay which I pointed out "not supposed to be treated disrespectfully"...mind you, many treat their dogs much better than humans, so...
                        – DigitalBlade969
                        6 hours ago















                      up vote
                      -1
                      down vote










                      up vote
                      -1
                      down vote









                      Welcome to the human condition and indeed the workplace!



                      At work you're always someones subordinate unless you're the owner of the company.

                      (arguably they are subordinate to the client but that's another matter)



                      While you're not supposed to be treated disrespectfully you better accept the afforementioned fact.



                      That means, out of convenience, necessity or indifference people will schedule meetings and will do things that inconvenience you instead of them.



                      Unless your actual work is detrimentally influenced by this or it reaches into the out of bounds private area of your life, SUCK IT UP!



                      Do your work to the best of your abilities and improve yourself while doing so.



                      Discuss your work objectively, think for yourself and if you have issues with task assignments or found improvements COMMUNICATE.



                      Keep personal feelings out of work relationships.



                      Find another company (or team) to work at if you feel you can't work with the person you described in your post.
                      (it's unlikely that you'll change them)



                      Don't dwell on it and make sure you're happy at your workplace and with your work.






                      share|improve this answer














                      Welcome to the human condition and indeed the workplace!



                      At work you're always someones subordinate unless you're the owner of the company.

                      (arguably they are subordinate to the client but that's another matter)



                      While you're not supposed to be treated disrespectfully you better accept the afforementioned fact.



                      That means, out of convenience, necessity or indifference people will schedule meetings and will do things that inconvenience you instead of them.



                      Unless your actual work is detrimentally influenced by this or it reaches into the out of bounds private area of your life, SUCK IT UP!



                      Do your work to the best of your abilities and improve yourself while doing so.



                      Discuss your work objectively, think for yourself and if you have issues with task assignments or found improvements COMMUNICATE.



                      Keep personal feelings out of work relationships.



                      Find another company (or team) to work at if you feel you can't work with the person you described in your post.
                      (it's unlikely that you'll change them)



                      Don't dwell on it and make sure you're happy at your workplace and with your work.







                      share|improve this answer














                      share|improve this answer



                      share|improve this answer








                      edited 7 hours ago

























                      answered 7 hours ago









                      DigitalBlade969

                      3,9491419




                      3,9491419












                      • There's a difference between being a subordinate and, as @ShinEmperor so eloquently put, being seen as a dog.
                        – Jim Clay
                        6 hours ago










                      • @JimClay which I pointed out "not supposed to be treated disrespectfully"...mind you, many treat their dogs much better than humans, so...
                        – DigitalBlade969
                        6 hours ago




















                      • There's a difference between being a subordinate and, as @ShinEmperor so eloquently put, being seen as a dog.
                        – Jim Clay
                        6 hours ago










                      • @JimClay which I pointed out "not supposed to be treated disrespectfully"...mind you, many treat their dogs much better than humans, so...
                        – DigitalBlade969
                        6 hours ago


















                      There's a difference between being a subordinate and, as @ShinEmperor so eloquently put, being seen as a dog.
                      – Jim Clay
                      6 hours ago




                      There's a difference between being a subordinate and, as @ShinEmperor so eloquently put, being seen as a dog.
                      – Jim Clay
                      6 hours ago












                      @JimClay which I pointed out "not supposed to be treated disrespectfully"...mind you, many treat their dogs much better than humans, so...
                      – DigitalBlade969
                      6 hours ago






                      @JimClay which I pointed out "not supposed to be treated disrespectfully"...mind you, many treat their dogs much better than humans, so...
                      – DigitalBlade969
                      6 hours ago












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