Appropriate thing to say behind someone's back? [on hold]





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During a conference, everyone from the office stands together for a group photo, our boss stands somewhere on the sides lines, near to a very attractive female coworker.



A few people tell him not to stand on the sides lines but stand somewhere in the center, but then he points to this coworker and says "Its fine, I know where everyone will be looking at".



The coworker doesn't notice this conversation.



It's just someone calling someone beautiful behind their back, but at a workplace it felt weird to me.



Boss is late 50s and coworker is late 20s.



So was this just a harmless thing to say?






professionalism appearance







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put on hold as primarily opinion-based by gnat, mxyzplk, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Strader, Richard U 22 hours ago


Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.











  • 1




    " but at a workplace it felt weird to me." - I agree, it's weird. Is this kind of behavior out of character for your boss, or does he normally act this way?
    – Joe Strazzere
    2 days ago








  • 2




    @mxyzplk asking about whether a particular line of conversation is considered workplace appropriate sounds very much like it falls under the heading of "navigating the workplace" to me?
    – motosubatsu
    2 days ago










  • @Joe Strazzere don't know I have just started working, it's my first job.
    – SamFlynn
    2 days ago






  • 2




    @SamFlynn - back when I first started working (long ago while the Earth was still cooling), that sort of comment sadly would have been completely typical. These days, it's creepy at best and totally inappropriate at worst, IMHO.
    – Joe Strazzere
    2 days ago

















up vote
4
down vote

favorite












During a conference, everyone from the office stands together for a group photo, our boss stands somewhere on the sides lines, near to a very attractive female coworker.



A few people tell him not to stand on the sides lines but stand somewhere in the center, but then he points to this coworker and says "Its fine, I know where everyone will be looking at".



The coworker doesn't notice this conversation.



It's just someone calling someone beautiful behind their back, but at a workplace it felt weird to me.



Boss is late 50s and coworker is late 20s.



So was this just a harmless thing to say?






professionalism appearance







share|improve this question









New contributor




SamFlynn is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.











put on hold as primarily opinion-based by gnat, mxyzplk, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Strader, Richard U 22 hours ago


Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.











  • 1




    " but at a workplace it felt weird to me." - I agree, it's weird. Is this kind of behavior out of character for your boss, or does he normally act this way?
    – Joe Strazzere
    2 days ago








  • 2




    @mxyzplk asking about whether a particular line of conversation is considered workplace appropriate sounds very much like it falls under the heading of "navigating the workplace" to me?
    – motosubatsu
    2 days ago










  • @Joe Strazzere don't know I have just started working, it's my first job.
    – SamFlynn
    2 days ago






  • 2




    @SamFlynn - back when I first started working (long ago while the Earth was still cooling), that sort of comment sadly would have been completely typical. These days, it's creepy at best and totally inappropriate at worst, IMHO.
    – Joe Strazzere
    2 days ago













up vote
4
down vote

favorite









up vote
4
down vote

favorite











During a conference, everyone from the office stands together for a group photo, our boss stands somewhere on the sides lines, near to a very attractive female coworker.



A few people tell him not to stand on the sides lines but stand somewhere in the center, but then he points to this coworker and says "Its fine, I know where everyone will be looking at".



The coworker doesn't notice this conversation.



It's just someone calling someone beautiful behind their back, but at a workplace it felt weird to me.



Boss is late 50s and coworker is late 20s.



So was this just a harmless thing to say?






professionalism appearance







share|improve this question









New contributor




SamFlynn is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.











During a conference, everyone from the office stands together for a group photo, our boss stands somewhere on the sides lines, near to a very attractive female coworker.



A few people tell him not to stand on the sides lines but stand somewhere in the center, but then he points to this coworker and says "Its fine, I know where everyone will be looking at".



The coworker doesn't notice this conversation.



It's just someone calling someone beautiful behind their back, but at a workplace it felt weird to me.



Boss is late 50s and coworker is late 20s.



So was this just a harmless thing to say?






professionalism appearance




professionalism appearance






share|improve this question









New contributor




SamFlynn is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.











share|improve this question









New contributor




SamFlynn is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.









share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 2 days ago









IDrinkandIKnowThings

44k1598189




44k1598189






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asked 2 days ago









SamFlynn

1324




1324




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SamFlynn is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.






SamFlynn is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.




put on hold as primarily opinion-based by gnat, mxyzplk, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Strader, Richard U 22 hours ago


Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.






put on hold as primarily opinion-based by gnat, mxyzplk, IDrinkandIKnowThings, Strader, Richard U 22 hours ago


Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.










  • 1




    " but at a workplace it felt weird to me." - I agree, it's weird. Is this kind of behavior out of character for your boss, or does he normally act this way?
    – Joe Strazzere
    2 days ago








  • 2




    @mxyzplk asking about whether a particular line of conversation is considered workplace appropriate sounds very much like it falls under the heading of "navigating the workplace" to me?
    – motosubatsu
    2 days ago










  • @Joe Strazzere don't know I have just started working, it's my first job.
    – SamFlynn
    2 days ago






  • 2




    @SamFlynn - back when I first started working (long ago while the Earth was still cooling), that sort of comment sadly would have been completely typical. These days, it's creepy at best and totally inappropriate at worst, IMHO.
    – Joe Strazzere
    2 days ago














  • 1




    " but at a workplace it felt weird to me." - I agree, it's weird. Is this kind of behavior out of character for your boss, or does he normally act this way?
    – Joe Strazzere
    2 days ago








  • 2




    @mxyzplk asking about whether a particular line of conversation is considered workplace appropriate sounds very much like it falls under the heading of "navigating the workplace" to me?
    – motosubatsu
    2 days ago










  • @Joe Strazzere don't know I have just started working, it's my first job.
    – SamFlynn
    2 days ago






  • 2




    @SamFlynn - back when I first started working (long ago while the Earth was still cooling), that sort of comment sadly would have been completely typical. These days, it's creepy at best and totally inappropriate at worst, IMHO.
    – Joe Strazzere
    2 days ago








1




1




" but at a workplace it felt weird to me." - I agree, it's weird. Is this kind of behavior out of character for your boss, or does he normally act this way?
– Joe Strazzere
2 days ago






" but at a workplace it felt weird to me." - I agree, it's weird. Is this kind of behavior out of character for your boss, or does he normally act this way?
– Joe Strazzere
2 days ago






2




2




@mxyzplk asking about whether a particular line of conversation is considered workplace appropriate sounds very much like it falls under the heading of "navigating the workplace" to me?
– motosubatsu
2 days ago




@mxyzplk asking about whether a particular line of conversation is considered workplace appropriate sounds very much like it falls under the heading of "navigating the workplace" to me?
– motosubatsu
2 days ago












@Joe Strazzere don't know I have just started working, it's my first job.
– SamFlynn
2 days ago




@Joe Strazzere don't know I have just started working, it's my first job.
– SamFlynn
2 days ago




2




2




@SamFlynn - back when I first started working (long ago while the Earth was still cooling), that sort of comment sadly would have been completely typical. These days, it's creepy at best and totally inappropriate at worst, IMHO.
– Joe Strazzere
2 days ago




@SamFlynn - back when I first started working (long ago while the Earth was still cooling), that sort of comment sadly would have been completely typical. These days, it's creepy at best and totally inappropriate at worst, IMHO.
– Joe Strazzere
2 days ago










1 Answer
1






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up vote
8
down vote



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This sounds like a thoughtless "joke" that fell flat and was not very appropriate for the workplace. If this woman (she's in her 20s, so no longer a girl) had heard the comment, it could have turned things awkward for her, especially because of the power difference between her and her boss.



It's not harmless per se because women often deal with comments that target their appearance. If it's a one-off occurrence, I would take it as an example of what not to do and otherwise not dwell on it. If it's a pattern, then there is a bigger problem in your workplace (but that's not the impression I got from your question).






share|improve this answer










New contributor




E.T. is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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  • Yeah that makes sense, I can see how it could make things awkward.
    – SamFlynn
    2 days ago


















1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes








1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes









active

oldest

votes






active

oldest

votes








up vote
8
down vote



accepted










This sounds like a thoughtless "joke" that fell flat and was not very appropriate for the workplace. If this woman (she's in her 20s, so no longer a girl) had heard the comment, it could have turned things awkward for her, especially because of the power difference between her and her boss.



It's not harmless per se because women often deal with comments that target their appearance. If it's a one-off occurrence, I would take it as an example of what not to do and otherwise not dwell on it. If it's a pattern, then there is a bigger problem in your workplace (but that's not the impression I got from your question).






share|improve this answer










New contributor




E.T. is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.


















  • Yeah that makes sense, I can see how it could make things awkward.
    – SamFlynn
    2 days ago















up vote
8
down vote



accepted










This sounds like a thoughtless "joke" that fell flat and was not very appropriate for the workplace. If this woman (she's in her 20s, so no longer a girl) had heard the comment, it could have turned things awkward for her, especially because of the power difference between her and her boss.



It's not harmless per se because women often deal with comments that target their appearance. If it's a one-off occurrence, I would take it as an example of what not to do and otherwise not dwell on it. If it's a pattern, then there is a bigger problem in your workplace (but that's not the impression I got from your question).






share|improve this answer










New contributor




E.T. is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.


















  • Yeah that makes sense, I can see how it could make things awkward.
    – SamFlynn
    2 days ago













up vote
8
down vote



accepted







up vote
8
down vote



accepted






This sounds like a thoughtless "joke" that fell flat and was not very appropriate for the workplace. If this woman (she's in her 20s, so no longer a girl) had heard the comment, it could have turned things awkward for her, especially because of the power difference between her and her boss.



It's not harmless per se because women often deal with comments that target their appearance. If it's a one-off occurrence, I would take it as an example of what not to do and otherwise not dwell on it. If it's a pattern, then there is a bigger problem in your workplace (but that's not the impression I got from your question).






share|improve this answer










New contributor




E.T. is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.









This sounds like a thoughtless "joke" that fell flat and was not very appropriate for the workplace. If this woman (she's in her 20s, so no longer a girl) had heard the comment, it could have turned things awkward for her, especially because of the power difference between her and her boss.



It's not harmless per se because women often deal with comments that target their appearance. If it's a one-off occurrence, I would take it as an example of what not to do and otherwise not dwell on it. If it's a pattern, then there is a bigger problem in your workplace (but that's not the impression I got from your question).







share|improve this answer










New contributor




E.T. is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.









share|improve this answer



share|improve this answer








edited 2 days ago





















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answered 2 days ago









E.T.

58216




58216




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E.T. is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.






E.T. is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.












  • Yeah that makes sense, I can see how it could make things awkward.
    – SamFlynn
    2 days ago


















  • Yeah that makes sense, I can see how it could make things awkward.
    – SamFlynn
    2 days ago
















Yeah that makes sense, I can see how it could make things awkward.
– SamFlynn
2 days ago




Yeah that makes sense, I can see how it could make things awkward.
– SamFlynn
2 days ago



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