Potential consequences of providing voluntary work for a team I've been forced to leave











up vote
7
down vote

favorite
1












I have been forced to leave my previous institute by my former principal investigator.



At the institute I have solved problems regarding the software, and I enjoyed giving help as much as I can to many users, even after resignation. I had a request from users to do a tutorial video.



I was thinking of that before resignation, but I am afraid that could be not favourable by the ex-PI. Although, a week ago I have received a message from him apologizing for what he did and wishing me good luck. Despite his behaviour, I forgive him.



I would really like to do that video voluntarily, but I am not belonging to the institute anymore and I would like to keep things good and not fabricating sensitivity. Should I ignore the request of those potential users or do those tutorials on my own?










share|improve this question




















  • 12




    Given your history with this PI (as you've revealed through questions here) I'd strongly recommend you not do that, whether "allowed" or not. As Solar Mike suggests, move on.
    – Buffy
    Nov 16 at 13:32






  • 1




    okay buffy, my intention was to engage myself also do something I really love to do. However, I think that you are right.
    – Monika
    Nov 16 at 13:43










  • @Monika, remember a thing is a thing, how do we name is largely driven by perception. If you insist your departure is tragic and sad, it'd remain so. You'll need to learn how to unpack this and move on. Seek guidance through professionals (e.g. career coach, external mentors, mental health professionals, etc.) as you don't need to face this alone.
    – Penguin_Knight
    Nov 16 at 14:24








  • 1




    There will always be more things to do that can help people, if you look for them. If you speak a second language and you enjoy teaching, maybe you can volunteer teaching or reconnect with members of your native community that way. Otherwise maybe you could volunteer with the needy or the elderly, etc. But I would let this one go and find something (anything) new to do.
    – user3067860
    Nov 16 at 20:01






  • 1




    As a side comment I suggest you to avoid self-aggrandizing expectations. You press yourself to impress your family while insisting on bad relationships -- this can be your doom. If you have spare time and want fast, impressive results work on learning languages (spoken, programming) and outreach (wiki pages, merchandising your work). It takes a lot of effort but eventually it'll show. Don't work for parasites. Good luck !
    – Scientist
    Nov 21 at 11:00

















up vote
7
down vote

favorite
1












I have been forced to leave my previous institute by my former principal investigator.



At the institute I have solved problems regarding the software, and I enjoyed giving help as much as I can to many users, even after resignation. I had a request from users to do a tutorial video.



I was thinking of that before resignation, but I am afraid that could be not favourable by the ex-PI. Although, a week ago I have received a message from him apologizing for what he did and wishing me good luck. Despite his behaviour, I forgive him.



I would really like to do that video voluntarily, but I am not belonging to the institute anymore and I would like to keep things good and not fabricating sensitivity. Should I ignore the request of those potential users or do those tutorials on my own?










share|improve this question




















  • 12




    Given your history with this PI (as you've revealed through questions here) I'd strongly recommend you not do that, whether "allowed" or not. As Solar Mike suggests, move on.
    – Buffy
    Nov 16 at 13:32






  • 1




    okay buffy, my intention was to engage myself also do something I really love to do. However, I think that you are right.
    – Monika
    Nov 16 at 13:43










  • @Monika, remember a thing is a thing, how do we name is largely driven by perception. If you insist your departure is tragic and sad, it'd remain so. You'll need to learn how to unpack this and move on. Seek guidance through professionals (e.g. career coach, external mentors, mental health professionals, etc.) as you don't need to face this alone.
    – Penguin_Knight
    Nov 16 at 14:24








  • 1




    There will always be more things to do that can help people, if you look for them. If you speak a second language and you enjoy teaching, maybe you can volunteer teaching or reconnect with members of your native community that way. Otherwise maybe you could volunteer with the needy or the elderly, etc. But I would let this one go and find something (anything) new to do.
    – user3067860
    Nov 16 at 20:01






  • 1




    As a side comment I suggest you to avoid self-aggrandizing expectations. You press yourself to impress your family while insisting on bad relationships -- this can be your doom. If you have spare time and want fast, impressive results work on learning languages (spoken, programming) and outreach (wiki pages, merchandising your work). It takes a lot of effort but eventually it'll show. Don't work for parasites. Good luck !
    – Scientist
    Nov 21 at 11:00















up vote
7
down vote

favorite
1









up vote
7
down vote

favorite
1






1





I have been forced to leave my previous institute by my former principal investigator.



At the institute I have solved problems regarding the software, and I enjoyed giving help as much as I can to many users, even after resignation. I had a request from users to do a tutorial video.



I was thinking of that before resignation, but I am afraid that could be not favourable by the ex-PI. Although, a week ago I have received a message from him apologizing for what he did and wishing me good luck. Despite his behaviour, I forgive him.



I would really like to do that video voluntarily, but I am not belonging to the institute anymore and I would like to keep things good and not fabricating sensitivity. Should I ignore the request of those potential users or do those tutorials on my own?










share|improve this question















I have been forced to leave my previous institute by my former principal investigator.



At the institute I have solved problems regarding the software, and I enjoyed giving help as much as I can to many users, even after resignation. I had a request from users to do a tutorial video.



I was thinking of that before resignation, but I am afraid that could be not favourable by the ex-PI. Although, a week ago I have received a message from him apologizing for what he did and wishing me good luck. Despite his behaviour, I forgive him.



I would really like to do that video voluntarily, but I am not belonging to the institute anymore and I would like to keep things good and not fabricating sensitivity. Should I ignore the request of those potential users or do those tutorials on my own?







etiquette outreach






share|improve this question















share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited Nov 16 at 19:27









eclipz905

1033




1033










asked Nov 16 at 11:49









Monika

36439




36439








  • 12




    Given your history with this PI (as you've revealed through questions here) I'd strongly recommend you not do that, whether "allowed" or not. As Solar Mike suggests, move on.
    – Buffy
    Nov 16 at 13:32






  • 1




    okay buffy, my intention was to engage myself also do something I really love to do. However, I think that you are right.
    – Monika
    Nov 16 at 13:43










  • @Monika, remember a thing is a thing, how do we name is largely driven by perception. If you insist your departure is tragic and sad, it'd remain so. You'll need to learn how to unpack this and move on. Seek guidance through professionals (e.g. career coach, external mentors, mental health professionals, etc.) as you don't need to face this alone.
    – Penguin_Knight
    Nov 16 at 14:24








  • 1




    There will always be more things to do that can help people, if you look for them. If you speak a second language and you enjoy teaching, maybe you can volunteer teaching or reconnect with members of your native community that way. Otherwise maybe you could volunteer with the needy or the elderly, etc. But I would let this one go and find something (anything) new to do.
    – user3067860
    Nov 16 at 20:01






  • 1




    As a side comment I suggest you to avoid self-aggrandizing expectations. You press yourself to impress your family while insisting on bad relationships -- this can be your doom. If you have spare time and want fast, impressive results work on learning languages (spoken, programming) and outreach (wiki pages, merchandising your work). It takes a lot of effort but eventually it'll show. Don't work for parasites. Good luck !
    – Scientist
    Nov 21 at 11:00
















  • 12




    Given your history with this PI (as you've revealed through questions here) I'd strongly recommend you not do that, whether "allowed" or not. As Solar Mike suggests, move on.
    – Buffy
    Nov 16 at 13:32






  • 1




    okay buffy, my intention was to engage myself also do something I really love to do. However, I think that you are right.
    – Monika
    Nov 16 at 13:43










  • @Monika, remember a thing is a thing, how do we name is largely driven by perception. If you insist your departure is tragic and sad, it'd remain so. You'll need to learn how to unpack this and move on. Seek guidance through professionals (e.g. career coach, external mentors, mental health professionals, etc.) as you don't need to face this alone.
    – Penguin_Knight
    Nov 16 at 14:24








  • 1




    There will always be more things to do that can help people, if you look for them. If you speak a second language and you enjoy teaching, maybe you can volunteer teaching or reconnect with members of your native community that way. Otherwise maybe you could volunteer with the needy or the elderly, etc. But I would let this one go and find something (anything) new to do.
    – user3067860
    Nov 16 at 20:01






  • 1




    As a side comment I suggest you to avoid self-aggrandizing expectations. You press yourself to impress your family while insisting on bad relationships -- this can be your doom. If you have spare time and want fast, impressive results work on learning languages (spoken, programming) and outreach (wiki pages, merchandising your work). It takes a lot of effort but eventually it'll show. Don't work for parasites. Good luck !
    – Scientist
    Nov 21 at 11:00










12




12




Given your history with this PI (as you've revealed through questions here) I'd strongly recommend you not do that, whether "allowed" or not. As Solar Mike suggests, move on.
– Buffy
Nov 16 at 13:32




Given your history with this PI (as you've revealed through questions here) I'd strongly recommend you not do that, whether "allowed" or not. As Solar Mike suggests, move on.
– Buffy
Nov 16 at 13:32




1




1




okay buffy, my intention was to engage myself also do something I really love to do. However, I think that you are right.
– Monika
Nov 16 at 13:43




okay buffy, my intention was to engage myself also do something I really love to do. However, I think that you are right.
– Monika
Nov 16 at 13:43












@Monika, remember a thing is a thing, how do we name is largely driven by perception. If you insist your departure is tragic and sad, it'd remain so. You'll need to learn how to unpack this and move on. Seek guidance through professionals (e.g. career coach, external mentors, mental health professionals, etc.) as you don't need to face this alone.
– Penguin_Knight
Nov 16 at 14:24






@Monika, remember a thing is a thing, how do we name is largely driven by perception. If you insist your departure is tragic and sad, it'd remain so. You'll need to learn how to unpack this and move on. Seek guidance through professionals (e.g. career coach, external mentors, mental health professionals, etc.) as you don't need to face this alone.
– Penguin_Knight
Nov 16 at 14:24






1




1




There will always be more things to do that can help people, if you look for them. If you speak a second language and you enjoy teaching, maybe you can volunteer teaching or reconnect with members of your native community that way. Otherwise maybe you could volunteer with the needy or the elderly, etc. But I would let this one go and find something (anything) new to do.
– user3067860
Nov 16 at 20:01




There will always be more things to do that can help people, if you look for them. If you speak a second language and you enjoy teaching, maybe you can volunteer teaching or reconnect with members of your native community that way. Otherwise maybe you could volunteer with the needy or the elderly, etc. But I would let this one go and find something (anything) new to do.
– user3067860
Nov 16 at 20:01




1




1




As a side comment I suggest you to avoid self-aggrandizing expectations. You press yourself to impress your family while insisting on bad relationships -- this can be your doom. If you have spare time and want fast, impressive results work on learning languages (spoken, programming) and outreach (wiki pages, merchandising your work). It takes a lot of effort but eventually it'll show. Don't work for parasites. Good luck !
– Scientist
Nov 21 at 11:00






As a side comment I suggest you to avoid self-aggrandizing expectations. You press yourself to impress your family while insisting on bad relationships -- this can be your doom. If you have spare time and want fast, impressive results work on learning languages (spoken, programming) and outreach (wiki pages, merchandising your work). It takes a lot of effort but eventually it'll show. Don't work for parasites. Good luck !
– Scientist
Nov 21 at 11:00












4 Answers
4






active

oldest

votes

















up vote
1
down vote



accepted










I strongly suggest you to move away from this person (your ex-adviser). Your relationship past history says it all, from your other posts.
He only seeks to exploit you and couldn't care less about your wishes and opinions. Manipulative people are simply like that. Apologizing letters, a friendly smile, a tap on the back, a small gift, some unexpected public compliment, these are all bait. As you see, it's all of matter of giving them whatever you can.



Focus on yourself and aligning with positive peers. Find the good collaborators.



Good luck!






share|improve this answer




























    up vote
    22
    down vote













    Personally, I think you should focus that time and effort into getting another position, if you have not got one already.



    If you have a new position already, well done, then focus that time and effort into where you are now. They, hopefully, will appreciate that effort and motivation.






    share|improve this answer





















    • May be I am foolish person and too emotional, actually I am in a short time contract, and the place is not so much good, and I have the time to do that video in any case, as I am really so motivated and I want to do activities like that. In any case, I think you are right, and I feel sorry how I looks very stupid.
      – Monika
      Nov 16 at 13:41






    • 9




      You are not stupid, you had the bad luck to meet a poor advisor. Best of luck with the future.
      – Solar Mike
      Nov 16 at 14:18


















    up vote
    2
    down vote













    I would strongly recommend to ask your former PI, mentioning that many users asked for a video and that you would volunteer to produce it without any strings attached.



    If he agrees, go for it. If not, move on.



    I would not do it without consent (even though you might have the right to do it as long as you don't mention secrets).






    share|improve this answer




























      up vote
      2
      down vote













      First, sorry that you were being forced to leave, hope you can find a better place to work.



      As for your question, I'd like to think more objectively by asking these questions:




      1. Do you feel you will enjoy creating that tutorial?

      2. Will that tutorial be useful?

      3. Do you have time for creating the tutorial?


      If the answer to those questions are "yes", then I guess it would be good for you to create the video tutorial, as it will also help users in fully utilizing the software, which will help their work as well.






      share|improve this answer





















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        4 Answers
        4






        active

        oldest

        votes








        4 Answers
        4






        active

        oldest

        votes









        active

        oldest

        votes






        active

        oldest

        votes








        up vote
        1
        down vote



        accepted










        I strongly suggest you to move away from this person (your ex-adviser). Your relationship past history says it all, from your other posts.
        He only seeks to exploit you and couldn't care less about your wishes and opinions. Manipulative people are simply like that. Apologizing letters, a friendly smile, a tap on the back, a small gift, some unexpected public compliment, these are all bait. As you see, it's all of matter of giving them whatever you can.



        Focus on yourself and aligning with positive peers. Find the good collaborators.



        Good luck!






        share|improve this answer

























          up vote
          1
          down vote



          accepted










          I strongly suggest you to move away from this person (your ex-adviser). Your relationship past history says it all, from your other posts.
          He only seeks to exploit you and couldn't care less about your wishes and opinions. Manipulative people are simply like that. Apologizing letters, a friendly smile, a tap on the back, a small gift, some unexpected public compliment, these are all bait. As you see, it's all of matter of giving them whatever you can.



          Focus on yourself and aligning with positive peers. Find the good collaborators.



          Good luck!






          share|improve this answer























            up vote
            1
            down vote



            accepted







            up vote
            1
            down vote



            accepted






            I strongly suggest you to move away from this person (your ex-adviser). Your relationship past history says it all, from your other posts.
            He only seeks to exploit you and couldn't care less about your wishes and opinions. Manipulative people are simply like that. Apologizing letters, a friendly smile, a tap on the back, a small gift, some unexpected public compliment, these are all bait. As you see, it's all of matter of giving them whatever you can.



            Focus on yourself and aligning with positive peers. Find the good collaborators.



            Good luck!






            share|improve this answer












            I strongly suggest you to move away from this person (your ex-adviser). Your relationship past history says it all, from your other posts.
            He only seeks to exploit you and couldn't care less about your wishes and opinions. Manipulative people are simply like that. Apologizing letters, a friendly smile, a tap on the back, a small gift, some unexpected public compliment, these are all bait. As you see, it's all of matter of giving them whatever you can.



            Focus on yourself and aligning with positive peers. Find the good collaborators.



            Good luck!







            share|improve this answer












            share|improve this answer



            share|improve this answer










            answered Nov 21 at 10:56









            Scientist

            7,03512557




            7,03512557






















                up vote
                22
                down vote













                Personally, I think you should focus that time and effort into getting another position, if you have not got one already.



                If you have a new position already, well done, then focus that time and effort into where you are now. They, hopefully, will appreciate that effort and motivation.






                share|improve this answer





















                • May be I am foolish person and too emotional, actually I am in a short time contract, and the place is not so much good, and I have the time to do that video in any case, as I am really so motivated and I want to do activities like that. In any case, I think you are right, and I feel sorry how I looks very stupid.
                  – Monika
                  Nov 16 at 13:41






                • 9




                  You are not stupid, you had the bad luck to meet a poor advisor. Best of luck with the future.
                  – Solar Mike
                  Nov 16 at 14:18















                up vote
                22
                down vote













                Personally, I think you should focus that time and effort into getting another position, if you have not got one already.



                If you have a new position already, well done, then focus that time and effort into where you are now. They, hopefully, will appreciate that effort and motivation.






                share|improve this answer





















                • May be I am foolish person and too emotional, actually I am in a short time contract, and the place is not so much good, and I have the time to do that video in any case, as I am really so motivated and I want to do activities like that. In any case, I think you are right, and I feel sorry how I looks very stupid.
                  – Monika
                  Nov 16 at 13:41






                • 9




                  You are not stupid, you had the bad luck to meet a poor advisor. Best of luck with the future.
                  – Solar Mike
                  Nov 16 at 14:18













                up vote
                22
                down vote










                up vote
                22
                down vote









                Personally, I think you should focus that time and effort into getting another position, if you have not got one already.



                If you have a new position already, well done, then focus that time and effort into where you are now. They, hopefully, will appreciate that effort and motivation.






                share|improve this answer












                Personally, I think you should focus that time and effort into getting another position, if you have not got one already.



                If you have a new position already, well done, then focus that time and effort into where you are now. They, hopefully, will appreciate that effort and motivation.







                share|improve this answer












                share|improve this answer



                share|improve this answer










                answered Nov 16 at 13:27









                Solar Mike

                10.6k32145




                10.6k32145












                • May be I am foolish person and too emotional, actually I am in a short time contract, and the place is not so much good, and I have the time to do that video in any case, as I am really so motivated and I want to do activities like that. In any case, I think you are right, and I feel sorry how I looks very stupid.
                  – Monika
                  Nov 16 at 13:41






                • 9




                  You are not stupid, you had the bad luck to meet a poor advisor. Best of luck with the future.
                  – Solar Mike
                  Nov 16 at 14:18


















                • May be I am foolish person and too emotional, actually I am in a short time contract, and the place is not so much good, and I have the time to do that video in any case, as I am really so motivated and I want to do activities like that. In any case, I think you are right, and I feel sorry how I looks very stupid.
                  – Monika
                  Nov 16 at 13:41






                • 9




                  You are not stupid, you had the bad luck to meet a poor advisor. Best of luck with the future.
                  – Solar Mike
                  Nov 16 at 14:18
















                May be I am foolish person and too emotional, actually I am in a short time contract, and the place is not so much good, and I have the time to do that video in any case, as I am really so motivated and I want to do activities like that. In any case, I think you are right, and I feel sorry how I looks very stupid.
                – Monika
                Nov 16 at 13:41




                May be I am foolish person and too emotional, actually I am in a short time contract, and the place is not so much good, and I have the time to do that video in any case, as I am really so motivated and I want to do activities like that. In any case, I think you are right, and I feel sorry how I looks very stupid.
                – Monika
                Nov 16 at 13:41




                9




                9




                You are not stupid, you had the bad luck to meet a poor advisor. Best of luck with the future.
                – Solar Mike
                Nov 16 at 14:18




                You are not stupid, you had the bad luck to meet a poor advisor. Best of luck with the future.
                – Solar Mike
                Nov 16 at 14:18










                up vote
                2
                down vote













                I would strongly recommend to ask your former PI, mentioning that many users asked for a video and that you would volunteer to produce it without any strings attached.



                If he agrees, go for it. If not, move on.



                I would not do it without consent (even though you might have the right to do it as long as you don't mention secrets).






                share|improve this answer

























                  up vote
                  2
                  down vote













                  I would strongly recommend to ask your former PI, mentioning that many users asked for a video and that you would volunteer to produce it without any strings attached.



                  If he agrees, go for it. If not, move on.



                  I would not do it without consent (even though you might have the right to do it as long as you don't mention secrets).






                  share|improve this answer























                    up vote
                    2
                    down vote










                    up vote
                    2
                    down vote









                    I would strongly recommend to ask your former PI, mentioning that many users asked for a video and that you would volunteer to produce it without any strings attached.



                    If he agrees, go for it. If not, move on.



                    I would not do it without consent (even though you might have the right to do it as long as you don't mention secrets).






                    share|improve this answer












                    I would strongly recommend to ask your former PI, mentioning that many users asked for a video and that you would volunteer to produce it without any strings attached.



                    If he agrees, go for it. If not, move on.



                    I would not do it without consent (even though you might have the right to do it as long as you don't mention secrets).







                    share|improve this answer












                    share|improve this answer



                    share|improve this answer










                    answered Nov 16 at 12:07









                    OBu

                    10.4k22548




                    10.4k22548






















                        up vote
                        2
                        down vote













                        First, sorry that you were being forced to leave, hope you can find a better place to work.



                        As for your question, I'd like to think more objectively by asking these questions:




                        1. Do you feel you will enjoy creating that tutorial?

                        2. Will that tutorial be useful?

                        3. Do you have time for creating the tutorial?


                        If the answer to those questions are "yes", then I guess it would be good for you to create the video tutorial, as it will also help users in fully utilizing the software, which will help their work as well.






                        share|improve this answer

























                          up vote
                          2
                          down vote













                          First, sorry that you were being forced to leave, hope you can find a better place to work.



                          As for your question, I'd like to think more objectively by asking these questions:




                          1. Do you feel you will enjoy creating that tutorial?

                          2. Will that tutorial be useful?

                          3. Do you have time for creating the tutorial?


                          If the answer to those questions are "yes", then I guess it would be good for you to create the video tutorial, as it will also help users in fully utilizing the software, which will help their work as well.






                          share|improve this answer























                            up vote
                            2
                            down vote










                            up vote
                            2
                            down vote









                            First, sorry that you were being forced to leave, hope you can find a better place to work.



                            As for your question, I'd like to think more objectively by asking these questions:




                            1. Do you feel you will enjoy creating that tutorial?

                            2. Will that tutorial be useful?

                            3. Do you have time for creating the tutorial?


                            If the answer to those questions are "yes", then I guess it would be good for you to create the video tutorial, as it will also help users in fully utilizing the software, which will help their work as well.






                            share|improve this answer












                            First, sorry that you were being forced to leave, hope you can find a better place to work.



                            As for your question, I'd like to think more objectively by asking these questions:




                            1. Do you feel you will enjoy creating that tutorial?

                            2. Will that tutorial be useful?

                            3. Do you have time for creating the tutorial?


                            If the answer to those questions are "yes", then I guess it would be good for you to create the video tutorial, as it will also help users in fully utilizing the software, which will help their work as well.







                            share|improve this answer












                            share|improve this answer



                            share|improve this answer










                            answered Nov 16 at 16:09









                            justhalf

                            12718




                            12718






























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