Making a job offer to a candidate while privately advising them to decline





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I work at a small technology company (12 employees). This past summer I managed a bright, talented intern (a rising college senior) who did great work.



My boss (the CEO) and others in the company want us to make a full-time offer to this intern, and by all reasonable assessment she absolutely deserves the offer. Because I was her manager the task of discussing the offer and working out the details has fallen to me (we don't have a "real" HR department to coordinate hiring).



Problem is, the company is very dysfunctional, and I strongly believe that even if it survives until her graduation, it'll be on a clear path to failure. I'm personally in the midst of looking for other opportunities. And the person she would report to (even if I were to stay) is an absolute nightmare to work with (I was able to keep him at a distance during the internship).



I feel terrible extending the offer and having to convince her to join a company when in my heart I think it would be a terrible career move for someone's first job after graduation. That said, she earned the offer and I wouldn't feel right to stomp it out internally without letting her make the choice.



I'm considering making the offer while privately advising her to decline it. Are there any ethical, legal, etc. implications that I should be aware of? Or any reason not to do this?










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  • 12




    It's one thing hiding corporate dysfunction during an interview. Regardless of legalities and ethics, however, she surely must have obtained some insight as an intern.
    – Laconic Droid
    14 hours ago






  • 6




    If this other (nightmare) Manager is going to be managing her, would it not be prudent for the intern to meet with them first, before deciding whether or not to accept the offer? If it were me, I would certainly want to meet my prospective new Manager first, to get a feel for what to expect and how good the 'personality fit' would be. Because, the relationship with your direct Manager is so important.
    – Time4Tea
    12 hours ago








  • 1




    There's are two real problems with telling the candidate. Firstly they may not respect the absolute confidentiality of that information. Secondly they may think the OP is trying to put them off to e.g. get the position for a friend. The OP needs to be ready for potential big problems with doing this. It's the ethical thing to do, but it won't necessarily look that way to the candidate (and the OP's employer - or next employer (!) if word gets back to them).
    – StephenG
    10 hours ago






  • 1




    I'd be careful about any prognosis about a company's future unless you know its financials are so dire it has to shutdown in a few months for sure. Even that can change. I've heard people say similar things about companies that went on to stay in business and prosper for years to come. Sometimes people that feel miserable (or totally happy) in their position also over-estimate the problems / good work they see and that impact on the company as a whole. Not saying you are definitely wrong, but it's hard to be right with such things.
    – Darkwing
    10 hours ago



















up vote
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down vote

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I work at a small technology company (12 employees). This past summer I managed a bright, talented intern (a rising college senior) who did great work.



My boss (the CEO) and others in the company want us to make a full-time offer to this intern, and by all reasonable assessment she absolutely deserves the offer. Because I was her manager the task of discussing the offer and working out the details has fallen to me (we don't have a "real" HR department to coordinate hiring).



Problem is, the company is very dysfunctional, and I strongly believe that even if it survives until her graduation, it'll be on a clear path to failure. I'm personally in the midst of looking for other opportunities. And the person she would report to (even if I were to stay) is an absolute nightmare to work with (I was able to keep him at a distance during the internship).



I feel terrible extending the offer and having to convince her to join a company when in my heart I think it would be a terrible career move for someone's first job after graduation. That said, she earned the offer and I wouldn't feel right to stomp it out internally without letting her make the choice.



I'm considering making the offer while privately advising her to decline it. Are there any ethical, legal, etc. implications that I should be aware of? Or any reason not to do this?










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  • 12




    It's one thing hiding corporate dysfunction during an interview. Regardless of legalities and ethics, however, she surely must have obtained some insight as an intern.
    – Laconic Droid
    14 hours ago






  • 6




    If this other (nightmare) Manager is going to be managing her, would it not be prudent for the intern to meet with them first, before deciding whether or not to accept the offer? If it were me, I would certainly want to meet my prospective new Manager first, to get a feel for what to expect and how good the 'personality fit' would be. Because, the relationship with your direct Manager is so important.
    – Time4Tea
    12 hours ago








  • 1




    There's are two real problems with telling the candidate. Firstly they may not respect the absolute confidentiality of that information. Secondly they may think the OP is trying to put them off to e.g. get the position for a friend. The OP needs to be ready for potential big problems with doing this. It's the ethical thing to do, but it won't necessarily look that way to the candidate (and the OP's employer - or next employer (!) if word gets back to them).
    – StephenG
    10 hours ago






  • 1




    I'd be careful about any prognosis about a company's future unless you know its financials are so dire it has to shutdown in a few months for sure. Even that can change. I've heard people say similar things about companies that went on to stay in business and prosper for years to come. Sometimes people that feel miserable (or totally happy) in their position also over-estimate the problems / good work they see and that impact on the company as a whole. Not saying you are definitely wrong, but it's hard to be right with such things.
    – Darkwing
    10 hours ago















up vote
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up vote
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down vote

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I work at a small technology company (12 employees). This past summer I managed a bright, talented intern (a rising college senior) who did great work.



My boss (the CEO) and others in the company want us to make a full-time offer to this intern, and by all reasonable assessment she absolutely deserves the offer. Because I was her manager the task of discussing the offer and working out the details has fallen to me (we don't have a "real" HR department to coordinate hiring).



Problem is, the company is very dysfunctional, and I strongly believe that even if it survives until her graduation, it'll be on a clear path to failure. I'm personally in the midst of looking for other opportunities. And the person she would report to (even if I were to stay) is an absolute nightmare to work with (I was able to keep him at a distance during the internship).



I feel terrible extending the offer and having to convince her to join a company when in my heart I think it would be a terrible career move for someone's first job after graduation. That said, she earned the offer and I wouldn't feel right to stomp it out internally without letting her make the choice.



I'm considering making the offer while privately advising her to decline it. Are there any ethical, legal, etc. implications that I should be aware of? Or any reason not to do this?










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user94511 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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I work at a small technology company (12 employees). This past summer I managed a bright, talented intern (a rising college senior) who did great work.



My boss (the CEO) and others in the company want us to make a full-time offer to this intern, and by all reasonable assessment she absolutely deserves the offer. Because I was her manager the task of discussing the offer and working out the details has fallen to me (we don't have a "real" HR department to coordinate hiring).



Problem is, the company is very dysfunctional, and I strongly believe that even if it survives until her graduation, it'll be on a clear path to failure. I'm personally in the midst of looking for other opportunities. And the person she would report to (even if I were to stay) is an absolute nightmare to work with (I was able to keep him at a distance during the internship).



I feel terrible extending the offer and having to convince her to join a company when in my heart I think it would be a terrible career move for someone's first job after graduation. That said, she earned the offer and I wouldn't feel right to stomp it out internally without letting her make the choice.



I'm considering making the offer while privately advising her to decline it. Are there any ethical, legal, etc. implications that I should be aware of? Or any reason not to do this?







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  • 12




    It's one thing hiding corporate dysfunction during an interview. Regardless of legalities and ethics, however, she surely must have obtained some insight as an intern.
    – Laconic Droid
    14 hours ago






  • 6




    If this other (nightmare) Manager is going to be managing her, would it not be prudent for the intern to meet with them first, before deciding whether or not to accept the offer? If it were me, I would certainly want to meet my prospective new Manager first, to get a feel for what to expect and how good the 'personality fit' would be. Because, the relationship with your direct Manager is so important.
    – Time4Tea
    12 hours ago








  • 1




    There's are two real problems with telling the candidate. Firstly they may not respect the absolute confidentiality of that information. Secondly they may think the OP is trying to put them off to e.g. get the position for a friend. The OP needs to be ready for potential big problems with doing this. It's the ethical thing to do, but it won't necessarily look that way to the candidate (and the OP's employer - or next employer (!) if word gets back to them).
    – StephenG
    10 hours ago






  • 1




    I'd be careful about any prognosis about a company's future unless you know its financials are so dire it has to shutdown in a few months for sure. Even that can change. I've heard people say similar things about companies that went on to stay in business and prosper for years to come. Sometimes people that feel miserable (or totally happy) in their position also over-estimate the problems / good work they see and that impact on the company as a whole. Not saying you are definitely wrong, but it's hard to be right with such things.
    – Darkwing
    10 hours ago
















  • 12




    It's one thing hiding corporate dysfunction during an interview. Regardless of legalities and ethics, however, she surely must have obtained some insight as an intern.
    – Laconic Droid
    14 hours ago






  • 6




    If this other (nightmare) Manager is going to be managing her, would it not be prudent for the intern to meet with them first, before deciding whether or not to accept the offer? If it were me, I would certainly want to meet my prospective new Manager first, to get a feel for what to expect and how good the 'personality fit' would be. Because, the relationship with your direct Manager is so important.
    – Time4Tea
    12 hours ago








  • 1




    There's are two real problems with telling the candidate. Firstly they may not respect the absolute confidentiality of that information. Secondly they may think the OP is trying to put them off to e.g. get the position for a friend. The OP needs to be ready for potential big problems with doing this. It's the ethical thing to do, but it won't necessarily look that way to the candidate (and the OP's employer - or next employer (!) if word gets back to them).
    – StephenG
    10 hours ago






  • 1




    I'd be careful about any prognosis about a company's future unless you know its financials are so dire it has to shutdown in a few months for sure. Even that can change. I've heard people say similar things about companies that went on to stay in business and prosper for years to come. Sometimes people that feel miserable (or totally happy) in their position also over-estimate the problems / good work they see and that impact on the company as a whole. Not saying you are definitely wrong, but it's hard to be right with such things.
    – Darkwing
    10 hours ago










12




12




It's one thing hiding corporate dysfunction during an interview. Regardless of legalities and ethics, however, she surely must have obtained some insight as an intern.
– Laconic Droid
14 hours ago




It's one thing hiding corporate dysfunction during an interview. Regardless of legalities and ethics, however, she surely must have obtained some insight as an intern.
– Laconic Droid
14 hours ago




6




6




If this other (nightmare) Manager is going to be managing her, would it not be prudent for the intern to meet with them first, before deciding whether or not to accept the offer? If it were me, I would certainly want to meet my prospective new Manager first, to get a feel for what to expect and how good the 'personality fit' would be. Because, the relationship with your direct Manager is so important.
– Time4Tea
12 hours ago






If this other (nightmare) Manager is going to be managing her, would it not be prudent for the intern to meet with them first, before deciding whether or not to accept the offer? If it were me, I would certainly want to meet my prospective new Manager first, to get a feel for what to expect and how good the 'personality fit' would be. Because, the relationship with your direct Manager is so important.
– Time4Tea
12 hours ago






1




1




There's are two real problems with telling the candidate. Firstly they may not respect the absolute confidentiality of that information. Secondly they may think the OP is trying to put them off to e.g. get the position for a friend. The OP needs to be ready for potential big problems with doing this. It's the ethical thing to do, but it won't necessarily look that way to the candidate (and the OP's employer - or next employer (!) if word gets back to them).
– StephenG
10 hours ago




There's are two real problems with telling the candidate. Firstly they may not respect the absolute confidentiality of that information. Secondly they may think the OP is trying to put them off to e.g. get the position for a friend. The OP needs to be ready for potential big problems with doing this. It's the ethical thing to do, but it won't necessarily look that way to the candidate (and the OP's employer - or next employer (!) if word gets back to them).
– StephenG
10 hours ago




1




1




I'd be careful about any prognosis about a company's future unless you know its financials are so dire it has to shutdown in a few months for sure. Even that can change. I've heard people say similar things about companies that went on to stay in business and prosper for years to come. Sometimes people that feel miserable (or totally happy) in their position also over-estimate the problems / good work they see and that impact on the company as a whole. Not saying you are definitely wrong, but it's hard to be right with such things.
– Darkwing
10 hours ago






I'd be careful about any prognosis about a company's future unless you know its financials are so dire it has to shutdown in a few months for sure. Even that can change. I've heard people say similar things about companies that went on to stay in business and prosper for years to come. Sometimes people that feel miserable (or totally happy) in their position also over-estimate the problems / good work they see and that impact on the company as a whole. Not saying you are definitely wrong, but it's hard to be right with such things.
– Darkwing
10 hours ago












11 Answers
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Meet her for a coffee. (If you're a guy, mention that it's to talk about her career and meet her in a totally non-romantic setting, otherwise she might get scared you are interested in her romantically).



During a 1:1 conversation there are plenty of ways you can say something without saying anything that could cost you your job:




  • ask her about her plans - when she says she's applying, stress that you will be happy to provide references

  • mention that a job in your company is also an option, that you were happy with her, but imply that many changes are coming... The culture is something that not everybody likes and her new boss has a management style very different to yours.

  • stress that she should think it over and that you won't take offence if she rejects the offer.


It's a lot about your tone.



You shouldn't say too much but if she's smart she will understand.



Referring to the previous answer: yes, you need to stay loyal to your company. But if the company is really so bad, the woman would quit quickly anyways. So it is in the interest of the company for you to let her know what she can expect.






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  • 3




    I agree with this. Seeing as you managed her as an intern, I don't think there would be much harm in meeting her for a coffee informally and discussing some of the wider issues that are going on in the company, so that she can be more aware and make an informed decision about whether or not to accept the offer.
    – Time4Tea
    13 hours ago






  • 2




    I almost agree. Blind loyalty is no virtue. If the reality is that the intern would be managed by an abusive "nightmare" were she to accept, OP would push her towards that outcome if they withheld that information. Out of respect for their intern, OP should be open with any objective information that would influence her decision (that doesn't also break NDA or existing legal contracts).
    – Alex Reinking
    12 hours ago








  • 6




    In particular, I think it is wrong to assume that "if the company is really so bad, the woman would quit quickly anyways." There are many reasons people stay in jobs they hate: the expenses involved in relocating, the uncertainty in finding a new job (especially early in one's career and without a recommendation from the former employer), their financial dependence on their continued employment, and even outright blackmail on the part of an abusive boss.
    – Alex Reinking
    12 hours ago










  • Good point Alex. I'd add to this advice to make it very clear that she's getting a good recommendation from the OP no matter what she chooses to do.
    – George M
    10 hours ago






  • 1




    @AlexReinking. "There are many reasons people stay in jobs they hate". Yes and I'm actually in a situation like that right now. But it doesn't mean you should make people start a horrible job. If someone let me know 2 years ago what the job looked like, I would have never accepted it and I would be super thankful to them.
    – 385703
    3 hours ago


















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Sounds to me like you don't owe this company any particular allegience -- the key to being ethical with this is separate your business responsibilities from your personal obligation not to harm this person.



Send the intern the offer from your corporate email with no comment on its desirability one way or the other.



Then phone the intern/meet in person on your own time and give her your thoughts on the company as an impartial human being.



She is then free to make up her own mind about what to do.






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  • i don't think the OP can be an "impartial human being". this is really about the relative value of loyalty to evidently a bad employer (who is still paying the OP's paycheck and deserves some measure of consideration for that) and the sense of responsibility to not harm this potential employee. this is a sorta sticky wicket.
    – robert bristow-johnson
    6 hours ago


















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18
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I'm considering making the offer while privately advising her to
decline it. Are there any ethical, legal, etc. implications that I
should be aware of? Or any reason not to do this?




Your boss told you to make the offer, and you acknowledge that she deserves the offer. Thus, you have to do it.



If she asks you about the offer or company, you can carefully disclose some of your feelings while still making it clear that this is solely her decision to make. And you can offer to be a great reference for her if this offer isn't what she is looking for.



Remember, she may not share your feelings about the company and manager. And while it's not what you want, it may still be what she wants.






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  • 1




    +1 - fulfill your duties to your employer by extending the offer; fulfill your moral obligations to your intern by warning her about a nightmare boss.
    – Alex Reinking
    12 hours ago






  • 3




    +1 that she might decide it's a good fit for her, so let her decide for herself. And who knows, the company might not go under. She could miss a great opportunity by not taking the offer. Not saying this is the case, but it's worth letting her decide for herself.
    – bob
    11 hours ago




















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12
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Advice could be problematic; informed consent is not. Present her with the offer, as well as the relevant information that she needs to make an informed decision. The offer is not only for a position with a particular compensation package, it is for an employment relationship with the company. Like any relationship, there are not only benefits, but liabilities and responsibilities. She needs to be made aware of the reasons that underlie your desire to recommend against taking the position, and then leave her to make her own decision. As part of this, highlight things that she may otherwise overlook, such as the fact that in her role as an intern, she has been insulated from some of the less palatable aspects of working there, as well as the fact that her work experience and her exemplary performance would qualify her to work at any number of other employers, and that it’s always wise to assess multiple offers rather than accepting the first opportunity that presents itself. Also stress that you’d be happy to serve as a reference not only for this role, but for any role outside of the company.



Once you have laid all of your cards on the table, the decision to accept or reject the offer will truly be her decision, which she will be able to make with eyes wide open. She may choose to take the job and regret it. But if she does, it will be her choice and her learning experience. Unless you give her the relevant information, you’re depriving her of that opportunity to decide for herself. I appreciate your desire to go to bat for her. You just need to do so in a way that is equitable for all parties concerned. As long as you stick to the facts, you should be fine.






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  • 4




    +1. I think the key thing is to make sure she has enough information to be able to make an informed decision. It's not in the interest of the company either, if she joins and then quits after 2 months, because she didn't know what she was getting herself into.
    – Time4Tea
    13 hours ago










  • +1. But people give positive "you should come here" style advice all the time. I don't think it's out of line to give advice that would save someone from months or years of abuse from a "nightmare" manager.
    – Alex Reinking
    12 hours ago










  • @AlexReinking, there's nothing obligating this person from staying with this company for years if it isn't mutually beneficial. if the person in question is a third party, then I agree, giving advice is fine. However, as a representative of the company, you have an obligation to represent the interests of the company. Giving someone the information that they need to make a decision for themselves does a good job of balancing those interests. If someone was moving across the country for the job, I would agree that taking a more proactively cautionary tone would be advisable.
    – S. Hooley
    12 hours ago










  • "There's nothing obligating this person from staying with this company for years" except for an abusive boss who might threaten to blacklist them should they leave, the great expenses (both social and financial) involved in relocating, the difficulty in finding a new job (depending on the industry), etc. The only obligations to one's employer are those drawn out in contract, typically in the US, that's just the labor they were hired to do.
    – Alex Reinking
    12 hours ago


















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5
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One major reason not to do this is: what if she accepts the offer, despite your warnings?



You are now in a very awkward position: your junior is now in a position to blackmail you. This is especially important as you are considering jumping ship: your reputation capital gained at your current firm is at its most valuable.



Regardless of whether the moral thing to do is telling the excellent former intern that your company is toxic and destined for the corporate dustbin , you are now putting your own career in jeopardy.



A missed opportunity is a relatively minor thing early on in your career. Later on, being seen to act against your employer's interests and in a matter that is entirely work related... well, that's a line on your CV that you don't want.



Attorneys are qualified to give moral, legal and financial advice. Those are good headings under which to analyse this decision.



Morally - telling her the lay of the land is absolutely the correct thing to do. (Companies' personalities are a legal fiction and you owe them no moral loyalty - pay them no heed when considering right and wrong.)



Legally - regardless of whether or not you are doing the company legal damage (and you probably are - tortious interference is the first thing that comes to mind), if your current company were to sue you on any grounds, it wouldn't be hard for a good attorney to find some pretext to introduce this situation into evidence to (correctly) portray you as disloyal. (This is particularly bad if you are in a jurisdiction where a jury is the trier of fact in civil cases.) So, while nothing will probably come of this, legally, you're doing yourself no favours at all by telling the intern how things are.



Financially, there's no upside. Only potential downside. Grim as it is, your intern is a nobody and gaining her favour and gratitude gives you nothing tangible. (The keys to the Kingdom of Heaven don't figure on any balance sheets.)



So, no attorney could tell you it was in your best interest to do this. Probably, you'd get away with it, and nothing would happen, other than you would get a warm glow from having gained the gratitude of the former intern. However, if this whole thing went wrong, it would probably go wrong very badly for you.



To repeat: only downside.



It's your life you're talking about, more than hers, and prudence and discretion should be your watchwords.



By telling the intern how things are you aren't just being honest: you're asking her for her confidence, and that is by no means a given. A particularly mercenary and ambitious personality might even smell an opportunity in your indiscretion.



I can completely understand how someone might nevertheless want to go ahead and warn the intern despite this advice; nevertheless, doing so is not the sensible and considered thing to do.






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    You should not do this.



    As long as you work for the company, your allegiance and responsibility is to the company and not a potential future employee. You are free to decide for yourself whether to stay or go, but you should not be trying to keep the intern from joining the company. From your own review, she is a potentially valuable employee for the company and you would be actively trying to harm the company.



    While I can't speak to specific legal concerns, I would expect in any country that actively trying to damage the future of the company is a fire-able offense at a minimum.






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    • 30




      This answers assumes that you somehow have an allegiance with your company outside the specific work you are hired to do. I don't think this is generally true. Both the company and the employee have to ensure that they are a good fit, you are asking the OP to lie about the fact that the company wont be a good fit for her. Given that we aren't in a capitalistic regime where the sole obligation is to money I'd do the right thing and just be honest about pros and cons and let her decide with full information. This is not actively harming the company, the company is harming itself by being awful.
      – Bakuriu
      13 hours ago






    • 13




      Is informing someone of all the pros and cons of a position REALLY against the companies interests, though? Doing so may prevent a situation where the person is hired on and leaves the company a week later, which would consume a lot of resources.
      – CrazyPaste
      13 hours ago






    • 14




      If you haven't noticed, companies have near 0 allegiance to their employees. Granted, they expect 100% loyalty from their employees, but very, very few show it to their employees. It's hard to buy into that one-way street.
      – FreeMan
      12 hours ago






    • 10




      @cdkMoose Absolutely wrong. Your moral responsibility to be honest and treat people well always trumps loyalty to your employer. To do otherwise marks someone as a horrible human being.
      – Gabe Sechan
      12 hours ago






    • 3




      @cdkMoose It doesn't matter. If its your opinion that the employer is horrible, its you duty as a decent human being to pass that information on to a potential employee. The potential employee can then factor that into their decision, along with their read on what factors give you that opinion and your biases. But not warning someone about a potentially toxic situation would make you a real asshole. Now there is a difference between dysfunctional and not right for me, in the second case it isn't necessary to pass anything on, unless you have reason to believe it applies to both of you.
      – Gabe Sechan
      11 hours ago




















    up vote
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    If this other Manager is as bad as you make them out to be, I recommend that you:




    1. Make sure she is aware that this other Manager is going to be managing her and that their style may be different to yours.

    2. Try to arrange for her to meet with this other Manager in person, before deciding whether to accept.


    If she meets with the other Manager, then it may help her to get a better feel for what they are like, and whether they are someone that she can work with. If it was me, I would definitely want to meet with a prospective new Manager first, to make sure the 'personality fit' is right, because the relationship you have with your direct Manager is so important.



    Otherwise, I agree with the other answers that recommend meeting her informally to discuss the situation. Don't advise her not to take it, but try to make sure she has enough information to be able to make an informed decision. The decision has to be hers. Even if that other Manager is difficult to work with, she might decide it would be good to work there for 6 months to a year, just to get their name on her resume, which is fair enough.



    Helping her to make an informed decision is not, in my opinion, contrary to the interests of the company. It would not be in the interests of the company, if she leaves after 2 months because she didn't realize what she was getting herself into.






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    • 1




      Having her meet with her potential manager is a great idea. I would expect this to be part of the process anyway. But if it's not, take it upon yourself to make it happen.
      – Joe Strazzere
      11 hours ago


















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    2
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    I'm personally in the midst of looking for other opportunities. And the person she would report to (even if I were to stay) is an absolute nightmare to work with (I was able to keep him at a distance during the internship).




    Only you know the extent of this would-be manager's abusiveness, but given that you deliberately shielded your intern from him, my instincts suggest he is quite bad indeed.



    If giving her direct advice to reject the offer would spare her months or even years of abuse and would not constitute a worse roadblock in her career (perhaps offer her your recommendation to another job), then it is the company's problem that they keep so toxic a person in their employ. It might even save the company a lawsuit down the line, depending again on the manager's misbehavior.



    Do, then, what the other answers suggest: give her the offer as is required by your job duties, and then (on your own time) give her all the objective, legal-to-divulge information she would need to make an informed decision. In particular, it sounds like you will need to tell her about this manager since she doesn't have any information about him already.






    share|improve this answer




























      up vote
      1
      down vote













      I think the ethical thing would be to resign or at the very least ask somebody else to handle the hiring negotiations and process. You should not be in a position of trust while actively considering what is essentially sabotage, as much as I commend your protectiveness.






      share|improve this answer








      New contributor




      Dan is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
      Check out our Code of Conduct.

























        up vote
        1
        down vote













        Your only responsibility is to make sure she gets enough information to make an informed decision.



        We are talking here about a person who has already worked an internship at your company. She didn't work for Manager X but it's a 12-person company, I find it hard to believe that she knows nothing about him. At the maximum, try to broker a meeting between her and her prospective new manager prior to the offer.



        You need to realize that




        1. You may be burned out and being overly bitter. Apparently a bunch of other folks work at the company and haven't fled screaming. You are likely projecting your own dissatisfaction about random "inside baseball" decisions on a new grad that just wants some good experience coding and a good-looking resume line item of working for a startup. There is nothing "ethical" about spreading your negativity to someone else.


        2. Anything beyond openly discussing with the team that you think the role might not be a good fit for her is direct sabotage of your company. You seem to feel that no one should come work there because it's so bad. You should be looking for other opportunities instead of sabotaging them. As a hiring manager, if I found someone on my team had told a candidate "don't come here this company is dysfunctional," they would immediately be fired for cause.







        share|improve this answer




























          up vote
          0
          down vote













          There's probably something in your contract that expressly forbids this sort of thing; even if there isn't, this probably wouldn't look great for you to be doing.



          That said, there is a difference between making an offer and recommending the offer, and that's in presentation. You could go into the meeting and say "hey, you got the offer! Good job! Here's the contents of the offer. I think it's really great because XYZ". You could also go into the meeting and say "We have decided to present you an offer. The contents of the offer are XYZ. Please let us know your decision." One statement of the offer obviously plays up the offer and makes it more attractive to take. The other one doesn't. (IANAL) You are probably obligated only to present the offer, but not to be energetic about it, so just don't.






          share|improve this answer

















          • 5




            "There's probably something in your contract that expressly forbids this sort of thing." This is extremely location-specific advice. White-collar direct employment jobs typically have no employment contract in the U.S., for example.
            – reirab
            13 hours ago










          protected by Jane S 5 hours ago



          Thank you for your interest in this question.
          Because it has attracted low-quality or spam answers that had to be removed, posting an answer now requires 10 reputation on this site (the association bonus does not count).



          Would you like to answer one of these unanswered questions instead?














          11 Answers
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          11 Answers
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          up vote
          57
          down vote













          Meet her for a coffee. (If you're a guy, mention that it's to talk about her career and meet her in a totally non-romantic setting, otherwise she might get scared you are interested in her romantically).



          During a 1:1 conversation there are plenty of ways you can say something without saying anything that could cost you your job:




          • ask her about her plans - when she says she's applying, stress that you will be happy to provide references

          • mention that a job in your company is also an option, that you were happy with her, but imply that many changes are coming... The culture is something that not everybody likes and her new boss has a management style very different to yours.

          • stress that she should think it over and that you won't take offence if she rejects the offer.


          It's a lot about your tone.



          You shouldn't say too much but if she's smart she will understand.



          Referring to the previous answer: yes, you need to stay loyal to your company. But if the company is really so bad, the woman would quit quickly anyways. So it is in the interest of the company for you to let her know what she can expect.






          share|improve this answer



















          • 3




            I agree with this. Seeing as you managed her as an intern, I don't think there would be much harm in meeting her for a coffee informally and discussing some of the wider issues that are going on in the company, so that she can be more aware and make an informed decision about whether or not to accept the offer.
            – Time4Tea
            13 hours ago






          • 2




            I almost agree. Blind loyalty is no virtue. If the reality is that the intern would be managed by an abusive "nightmare" were she to accept, OP would push her towards that outcome if they withheld that information. Out of respect for their intern, OP should be open with any objective information that would influence her decision (that doesn't also break NDA or existing legal contracts).
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago








          • 6




            In particular, I think it is wrong to assume that "if the company is really so bad, the woman would quit quickly anyways." There are many reasons people stay in jobs they hate: the expenses involved in relocating, the uncertainty in finding a new job (especially early in one's career and without a recommendation from the former employer), their financial dependence on their continued employment, and even outright blackmail on the part of an abusive boss.
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago










          • Good point Alex. I'd add to this advice to make it very clear that she's getting a good recommendation from the OP no matter what she chooses to do.
            – George M
            10 hours ago






          • 1




            @AlexReinking. "There are many reasons people stay in jobs they hate". Yes and I'm actually in a situation like that right now. But it doesn't mean you should make people start a horrible job. If someone let me know 2 years ago what the job looked like, I would have never accepted it and I would be super thankful to them.
            – 385703
            3 hours ago















          up vote
          57
          down vote













          Meet her for a coffee. (If you're a guy, mention that it's to talk about her career and meet her in a totally non-romantic setting, otherwise she might get scared you are interested in her romantically).



          During a 1:1 conversation there are plenty of ways you can say something without saying anything that could cost you your job:




          • ask her about her plans - when she says she's applying, stress that you will be happy to provide references

          • mention that a job in your company is also an option, that you were happy with her, but imply that many changes are coming... The culture is something that not everybody likes and her new boss has a management style very different to yours.

          • stress that she should think it over and that you won't take offence if she rejects the offer.


          It's a lot about your tone.



          You shouldn't say too much but if she's smart she will understand.



          Referring to the previous answer: yes, you need to stay loyal to your company. But if the company is really so bad, the woman would quit quickly anyways. So it is in the interest of the company for you to let her know what she can expect.






          share|improve this answer



















          • 3




            I agree with this. Seeing as you managed her as an intern, I don't think there would be much harm in meeting her for a coffee informally and discussing some of the wider issues that are going on in the company, so that she can be more aware and make an informed decision about whether or not to accept the offer.
            – Time4Tea
            13 hours ago






          • 2




            I almost agree. Blind loyalty is no virtue. If the reality is that the intern would be managed by an abusive "nightmare" were she to accept, OP would push her towards that outcome if they withheld that information. Out of respect for their intern, OP should be open with any objective information that would influence her decision (that doesn't also break NDA or existing legal contracts).
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago








          • 6




            In particular, I think it is wrong to assume that "if the company is really so bad, the woman would quit quickly anyways." There are many reasons people stay in jobs they hate: the expenses involved in relocating, the uncertainty in finding a new job (especially early in one's career and without a recommendation from the former employer), their financial dependence on their continued employment, and even outright blackmail on the part of an abusive boss.
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago










          • Good point Alex. I'd add to this advice to make it very clear that she's getting a good recommendation from the OP no matter what she chooses to do.
            – George M
            10 hours ago






          • 1




            @AlexReinking. "There are many reasons people stay in jobs they hate". Yes and I'm actually in a situation like that right now. But it doesn't mean you should make people start a horrible job. If someone let me know 2 years ago what the job looked like, I would have never accepted it and I would be super thankful to them.
            – 385703
            3 hours ago













          up vote
          57
          down vote










          up vote
          57
          down vote









          Meet her for a coffee. (If you're a guy, mention that it's to talk about her career and meet her in a totally non-romantic setting, otherwise she might get scared you are interested in her romantically).



          During a 1:1 conversation there are plenty of ways you can say something without saying anything that could cost you your job:




          • ask her about her plans - when she says she's applying, stress that you will be happy to provide references

          • mention that a job in your company is also an option, that you were happy with her, but imply that many changes are coming... The culture is something that not everybody likes and her new boss has a management style very different to yours.

          • stress that she should think it over and that you won't take offence if she rejects the offer.


          It's a lot about your tone.



          You shouldn't say too much but if she's smart she will understand.



          Referring to the previous answer: yes, you need to stay loyal to your company. But if the company is really so bad, the woman would quit quickly anyways. So it is in the interest of the company for you to let her know what she can expect.






          share|improve this answer














          Meet her for a coffee. (If you're a guy, mention that it's to talk about her career and meet her in a totally non-romantic setting, otherwise she might get scared you are interested in her romantically).



          During a 1:1 conversation there are plenty of ways you can say something without saying anything that could cost you your job:




          • ask her about her plans - when she says she's applying, stress that you will be happy to provide references

          • mention that a job in your company is also an option, that you were happy with her, but imply that many changes are coming... The culture is something that not everybody likes and her new boss has a management style very different to yours.

          • stress that she should think it over and that you won't take offence if she rejects the offer.


          It's a lot about your tone.



          You shouldn't say too much but if she's smart she will understand.



          Referring to the previous answer: yes, you need to stay loyal to your company. But if the company is really so bad, the woman would quit quickly anyways. So it is in the interest of the company for you to let her know what she can expect.







          share|improve this answer














          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer








          edited 3 hours ago

























          answered 14 hours ago









          385703

          7,14651441




          7,14651441








          • 3




            I agree with this. Seeing as you managed her as an intern, I don't think there would be much harm in meeting her for a coffee informally and discussing some of the wider issues that are going on in the company, so that she can be more aware and make an informed decision about whether or not to accept the offer.
            – Time4Tea
            13 hours ago






          • 2




            I almost agree. Blind loyalty is no virtue. If the reality is that the intern would be managed by an abusive "nightmare" were she to accept, OP would push her towards that outcome if they withheld that information. Out of respect for their intern, OP should be open with any objective information that would influence her decision (that doesn't also break NDA or existing legal contracts).
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago








          • 6




            In particular, I think it is wrong to assume that "if the company is really so bad, the woman would quit quickly anyways." There are many reasons people stay in jobs they hate: the expenses involved in relocating, the uncertainty in finding a new job (especially early in one's career and without a recommendation from the former employer), their financial dependence on their continued employment, and even outright blackmail on the part of an abusive boss.
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago










          • Good point Alex. I'd add to this advice to make it very clear that she's getting a good recommendation from the OP no matter what she chooses to do.
            – George M
            10 hours ago






          • 1




            @AlexReinking. "There are many reasons people stay in jobs they hate". Yes and I'm actually in a situation like that right now. But it doesn't mean you should make people start a horrible job. If someone let me know 2 years ago what the job looked like, I would have never accepted it and I would be super thankful to them.
            – 385703
            3 hours ago














          • 3




            I agree with this. Seeing as you managed her as an intern, I don't think there would be much harm in meeting her for a coffee informally and discussing some of the wider issues that are going on in the company, so that she can be more aware and make an informed decision about whether or not to accept the offer.
            – Time4Tea
            13 hours ago






          • 2




            I almost agree. Blind loyalty is no virtue. If the reality is that the intern would be managed by an abusive "nightmare" were she to accept, OP would push her towards that outcome if they withheld that information. Out of respect for their intern, OP should be open with any objective information that would influence her decision (that doesn't also break NDA or existing legal contracts).
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago








          • 6




            In particular, I think it is wrong to assume that "if the company is really so bad, the woman would quit quickly anyways." There are many reasons people stay in jobs they hate: the expenses involved in relocating, the uncertainty in finding a new job (especially early in one's career and without a recommendation from the former employer), their financial dependence on their continued employment, and even outright blackmail on the part of an abusive boss.
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago










          • Good point Alex. I'd add to this advice to make it very clear that she's getting a good recommendation from the OP no matter what she chooses to do.
            – George M
            10 hours ago






          • 1




            @AlexReinking. "There are many reasons people stay in jobs they hate". Yes and I'm actually in a situation like that right now. But it doesn't mean you should make people start a horrible job. If someone let me know 2 years ago what the job looked like, I would have never accepted it and I would be super thankful to them.
            – 385703
            3 hours ago








          3




          3




          I agree with this. Seeing as you managed her as an intern, I don't think there would be much harm in meeting her for a coffee informally and discussing some of the wider issues that are going on in the company, so that she can be more aware and make an informed decision about whether or not to accept the offer.
          – Time4Tea
          13 hours ago




          I agree with this. Seeing as you managed her as an intern, I don't think there would be much harm in meeting her for a coffee informally and discussing some of the wider issues that are going on in the company, so that she can be more aware and make an informed decision about whether or not to accept the offer.
          – Time4Tea
          13 hours ago




          2




          2




          I almost agree. Blind loyalty is no virtue. If the reality is that the intern would be managed by an abusive "nightmare" were she to accept, OP would push her towards that outcome if they withheld that information. Out of respect for their intern, OP should be open with any objective information that would influence her decision (that doesn't also break NDA or existing legal contracts).
          – Alex Reinking
          12 hours ago






          I almost agree. Blind loyalty is no virtue. If the reality is that the intern would be managed by an abusive "nightmare" were she to accept, OP would push her towards that outcome if they withheld that information. Out of respect for their intern, OP should be open with any objective information that would influence her decision (that doesn't also break NDA or existing legal contracts).
          – Alex Reinking
          12 hours ago






          6




          6




          In particular, I think it is wrong to assume that "if the company is really so bad, the woman would quit quickly anyways." There are many reasons people stay in jobs they hate: the expenses involved in relocating, the uncertainty in finding a new job (especially early in one's career and without a recommendation from the former employer), their financial dependence on their continued employment, and even outright blackmail on the part of an abusive boss.
          – Alex Reinking
          12 hours ago




          In particular, I think it is wrong to assume that "if the company is really so bad, the woman would quit quickly anyways." There are many reasons people stay in jobs they hate: the expenses involved in relocating, the uncertainty in finding a new job (especially early in one's career and without a recommendation from the former employer), their financial dependence on their continued employment, and even outright blackmail on the part of an abusive boss.
          – Alex Reinking
          12 hours ago












          Good point Alex. I'd add to this advice to make it very clear that she's getting a good recommendation from the OP no matter what she chooses to do.
          – George M
          10 hours ago




          Good point Alex. I'd add to this advice to make it very clear that she's getting a good recommendation from the OP no matter what she chooses to do.
          – George M
          10 hours ago




          1




          1




          @AlexReinking. "There are many reasons people stay in jobs they hate". Yes and I'm actually in a situation like that right now. But it doesn't mean you should make people start a horrible job. If someone let me know 2 years ago what the job looked like, I would have never accepted it and I would be super thankful to them.
          – 385703
          3 hours ago




          @AlexReinking. "There are many reasons people stay in jobs they hate". Yes and I'm actually in a situation like that right now. But it doesn't mean you should make people start a horrible job. If someone let me know 2 years ago what the job looked like, I would have never accepted it and I would be super thankful to them.
          – 385703
          3 hours ago












          up vote
          24
          down vote













          Sounds to me like you don't owe this company any particular allegience -- the key to being ethical with this is separate your business responsibilities from your personal obligation not to harm this person.



          Send the intern the offer from your corporate email with no comment on its desirability one way or the other.



          Then phone the intern/meet in person on your own time and give her your thoughts on the company as an impartial human being.



          She is then free to make up her own mind about what to do.






          share|improve this answer





















          • i don't think the OP can be an "impartial human being". this is really about the relative value of loyalty to evidently a bad employer (who is still paying the OP's paycheck and deserves some measure of consideration for that) and the sense of responsibility to not harm this potential employee. this is a sorta sticky wicket.
            – robert bristow-johnson
            6 hours ago















          up vote
          24
          down vote













          Sounds to me like you don't owe this company any particular allegience -- the key to being ethical with this is separate your business responsibilities from your personal obligation not to harm this person.



          Send the intern the offer from your corporate email with no comment on its desirability one way or the other.



          Then phone the intern/meet in person on your own time and give her your thoughts on the company as an impartial human being.



          She is then free to make up her own mind about what to do.






          share|improve this answer





















          • i don't think the OP can be an "impartial human being". this is really about the relative value of loyalty to evidently a bad employer (who is still paying the OP's paycheck and deserves some measure of consideration for that) and the sense of responsibility to not harm this potential employee. this is a sorta sticky wicket.
            – robert bristow-johnson
            6 hours ago













          up vote
          24
          down vote










          up vote
          24
          down vote









          Sounds to me like you don't owe this company any particular allegience -- the key to being ethical with this is separate your business responsibilities from your personal obligation not to harm this person.



          Send the intern the offer from your corporate email with no comment on its desirability one way or the other.



          Then phone the intern/meet in person on your own time and give her your thoughts on the company as an impartial human being.



          She is then free to make up her own mind about what to do.






          share|improve this answer












          Sounds to me like you don't owe this company any particular allegience -- the key to being ethical with this is separate your business responsibilities from your personal obligation not to harm this person.



          Send the intern the offer from your corporate email with no comment on its desirability one way or the other.



          Then phone the intern/meet in person on your own time and give her your thoughts on the company as an impartial human being.



          She is then free to make up her own mind about what to do.







          share|improve this answer












          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer










          answered 13 hours ago









          jkf

          58527




          58527












          • i don't think the OP can be an "impartial human being". this is really about the relative value of loyalty to evidently a bad employer (who is still paying the OP's paycheck and deserves some measure of consideration for that) and the sense of responsibility to not harm this potential employee. this is a sorta sticky wicket.
            – robert bristow-johnson
            6 hours ago


















          • i don't think the OP can be an "impartial human being". this is really about the relative value of loyalty to evidently a bad employer (who is still paying the OP's paycheck and deserves some measure of consideration for that) and the sense of responsibility to not harm this potential employee. this is a sorta sticky wicket.
            – robert bristow-johnson
            6 hours ago
















          i don't think the OP can be an "impartial human being". this is really about the relative value of loyalty to evidently a bad employer (who is still paying the OP's paycheck and deserves some measure of consideration for that) and the sense of responsibility to not harm this potential employee. this is a sorta sticky wicket.
          – robert bristow-johnson
          6 hours ago




          i don't think the OP can be an "impartial human being". this is really about the relative value of loyalty to evidently a bad employer (who is still paying the OP's paycheck and deserves some measure of consideration for that) and the sense of responsibility to not harm this potential employee. this is a sorta sticky wicket.
          – robert bristow-johnson
          6 hours ago










          up vote
          18
          down vote














          I'm considering making the offer while privately advising her to
          decline it. Are there any ethical, legal, etc. implications that I
          should be aware of? Or any reason not to do this?




          Your boss told you to make the offer, and you acknowledge that she deserves the offer. Thus, you have to do it.



          If she asks you about the offer or company, you can carefully disclose some of your feelings while still making it clear that this is solely her decision to make. And you can offer to be a great reference for her if this offer isn't what she is looking for.



          Remember, she may not share your feelings about the company and manager. And while it's not what you want, it may still be what she wants.






          share|improve this answer

















          • 1




            +1 - fulfill your duties to your employer by extending the offer; fulfill your moral obligations to your intern by warning her about a nightmare boss.
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago






          • 3




            +1 that she might decide it's a good fit for her, so let her decide for herself. And who knows, the company might not go under. She could miss a great opportunity by not taking the offer. Not saying this is the case, but it's worth letting her decide for herself.
            – bob
            11 hours ago

















          up vote
          18
          down vote














          I'm considering making the offer while privately advising her to
          decline it. Are there any ethical, legal, etc. implications that I
          should be aware of? Or any reason not to do this?




          Your boss told you to make the offer, and you acknowledge that she deserves the offer. Thus, you have to do it.



          If she asks you about the offer or company, you can carefully disclose some of your feelings while still making it clear that this is solely her decision to make. And you can offer to be a great reference for her if this offer isn't what she is looking for.



          Remember, she may not share your feelings about the company and manager. And while it's not what you want, it may still be what she wants.






          share|improve this answer

















          • 1




            +1 - fulfill your duties to your employer by extending the offer; fulfill your moral obligations to your intern by warning her about a nightmare boss.
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago






          • 3




            +1 that she might decide it's a good fit for her, so let her decide for herself. And who knows, the company might not go under. She could miss a great opportunity by not taking the offer. Not saying this is the case, but it's worth letting her decide for herself.
            – bob
            11 hours ago















          up vote
          18
          down vote










          up vote
          18
          down vote










          I'm considering making the offer while privately advising her to
          decline it. Are there any ethical, legal, etc. implications that I
          should be aware of? Or any reason not to do this?




          Your boss told you to make the offer, and you acknowledge that she deserves the offer. Thus, you have to do it.



          If she asks you about the offer or company, you can carefully disclose some of your feelings while still making it clear that this is solely her decision to make. And you can offer to be a great reference for her if this offer isn't what she is looking for.



          Remember, she may not share your feelings about the company and manager. And while it's not what you want, it may still be what she wants.






          share|improve this answer













          I'm considering making the offer while privately advising her to
          decline it. Are there any ethical, legal, etc. implications that I
          should be aware of? Or any reason not to do this?




          Your boss told you to make the offer, and you acknowledge that she deserves the offer. Thus, you have to do it.



          If she asks you about the offer or company, you can carefully disclose some of your feelings while still making it clear that this is solely her decision to make. And you can offer to be a great reference for her if this offer isn't what she is looking for.



          Remember, she may not share your feelings about the company and manager. And while it's not what you want, it may still be what she wants.







          share|improve this answer












          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer










          answered 12 hours ago









          Joe Strazzere

          236k115691984




          236k115691984








          • 1




            +1 - fulfill your duties to your employer by extending the offer; fulfill your moral obligations to your intern by warning her about a nightmare boss.
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago






          • 3




            +1 that she might decide it's a good fit for her, so let her decide for herself. And who knows, the company might not go under. She could miss a great opportunity by not taking the offer. Not saying this is the case, but it's worth letting her decide for herself.
            – bob
            11 hours ago
















          • 1




            +1 - fulfill your duties to your employer by extending the offer; fulfill your moral obligations to your intern by warning her about a nightmare boss.
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago






          • 3




            +1 that she might decide it's a good fit for her, so let her decide for herself. And who knows, the company might not go under. She could miss a great opportunity by not taking the offer. Not saying this is the case, but it's worth letting her decide for herself.
            – bob
            11 hours ago










          1




          1




          +1 - fulfill your duties to your employer by extending the offer; fulfill your moral obligations to your intern by warning her about a nightmare boss.
          – Alex Reinking
          12 hours ago




          +1 - fulfill your duties to your employer by extending the offer; fulfill your moral obligations to your intern by warning her about a nightmare boss.
          – Alex Reinking
          12 hours ago




          3




          3




          +1 that she might decide it's a good fit for her, so let her decide for herself. And who knows, the company might not go under. She could miss a great opportunity by not taking the offer. Not saying this is the case, but it's worth letting her decide for herself.
          – bob
          11 hours ago






          +1 that she might decide it's a good fit for her, so let her decide for herself. And who knows, the company might not go under. She could miss a great opportunity by not taking the offer. Not saying this is the case, but it's worth letting her decide for herself.
          – bob
          11 hours ago












          up vote
          12
          down vote













          Advice could be problematic; informed consent is not. Present her with the offer, as well as the relevant information that she needs to make an informed decision. The offer is not only for a position with a particular compensation package, it is for an employment relationship with the company. Like any relationship, there are not only benefits, but liabilities and responsibilities. She needs to be made aware of the reasons that underlie your desire to recommend against taking the position, and then leave her to make her own decision. As part of this, highlight things that she may otherwise overlook, such as the fact that in her role as an intern, she has been insulated from some of the less palatable aspects of working there, as well as the fact that her work experience and her exemplary performance would qualify her to work at any number of other employers, and that it’s always wise to assess multiple offers rather than accepting the first opportunity that presents itself. Also stress that you’d be happy to serve as a reference not only for this role, but for any role outside of the company.



          Once you have laid all of your cards on the table, the decision to accept or reject the offer will truly be her decision, which she will be able to make with eyes wide open. She may choose to take the job and regret it. But if she does, it will be her choice and her learning experience. Unless you give her the relevant information, you’re depriving her of that opportunity to decide for herself. I appreciate your desire to go to bat for her. You just need to do so in a way that is equitable for all parties concerned. As long as you stick to the facts, you should be fine.






          share|improve this answer








          New contributor




          S. Hooley is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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          • 4




            +1. I think the key thing is to make sure she has enough information to be able to make an informed decision. It's not in the interest of the company either, if she joins and then quits after 2 months, because she didn't know what she was getting herself into.
            – Time4Tea
            13 hours ago










          • +1. But people give positive "you should come here" style advice all the time. I don't think it's out of line to give advice that would save someone from months or years of abuse from a "nightmare" manager.
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago










          • @AlexReinking, there's nothing obligating this person from staying with this company for years if it isn't mutually beneficial. if the person in question is a third party, then I agree, giving advice is fine. However, as a representative of the company, you have an obligation to represent the interests of the company. Giving someone the information that they need to make a decision for themselves does a good job of balancing those interests. If someone was moving across the country for the job, I would agree that taking a more proactively cautionary tone would be advisable.
            – S. Hooley
            12 hours ago










          • "There's nothing obligating this person from staying with this company for years" except for an abusive boss who might threaten to blacklist them should they leave, the great expenses (both social and financial) involved in relocating, the difficulty in finding a new job (depending on the industry), etc. The only obligations to one's employer are those drawn out in contract, typically in the US, that's just the labor they were hired to do.
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago















          up vote
          12
          down vote













          Advice could be problematic; informed consent is not. Present her with the offer, as well as the relevant information that she needs to make an informed decision. The offer is not only for a position with a particular compensation package, it is for an employment relationship with the company. Like any relationship, there are not only benefits, but liabilities and responsibilities. She needs to be made aware of the reasons that underlie your desire to recommend against taking the position, and then leave her to make her own decision. As part of this, highlight things that she may otherwise overlook, such as the fact that in her role as an intern, she has been insulated from some of the less palatable aspects of working there, as well as the fact that her work experience and her exemplary performance would qualify her to work at any number of other employers, and that it’s always wise to assess multiple offers rather than accepting the first opportunity that presents itself. Also stress that you’d be happy to serve as a reference not only for this role, but for any role outside of the company.



          Once you have laid all of your cards on the table, the decision to accept or reject the offer will truly be her decision, which she will be able to make with eyes wide open. She may choose to take the job and regret it. But if she does, it will be her choice and her learning experience. Unless you give her the relevant information, you’re depriving her of that opportunity to decide for herself. I appreciate your desire to go to bat for her. You just need to do so in a way that is equitable for all parties concerned. As long as you stick to the facts, you should be fine.






          share|improve this answer








          New contributor




          S. Hooley is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
          Check out our Code of Conduct.














          • 4




            +1. I think the key thing is to make sure she has enough information to be able to make an informed decision. It's not in the interest of the company either, if she joins and then quits after 2 months, because she didn't know what she was getting herself into.
            – Time4Tea
            13 hours ago










          • +1. But people give positive "you should come here" style advice all the time. I don't think it's out of line to give advice that would save someone from months or years of abuse from a "nightmare" manager.
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago










          • @AlexReinking, there's nothing obligating this person from staying with this company for years if it isn't mutually beneficial. if the person in question is a third party, then I agree, giving advice is fine. However, as a representative of the company, you have an obligation to represent the interests of the company. Giving someone the information that they need to make a decision for themselves does a good job of balancing those interests. If someone was moving across the country for the job, I would agree that taking a more proactively cautionary tone would be advisable.
            – S. Hooley
            12 hours ago










          • "There's nothing obligating this person from staying with this company for years" except for an abusive boss who might threaten to blacklist them should they leave, the great expenses (both social and financial) involved in relocating, the difficulty in finding a new job (depending on the industry), etc. The only obligations to one's employer are those drawn out in contract, typically in the US, that's just the labor they were hired to do.
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago













          up vote
          12
          down vote










          up vote
          12
          down vote









          Advice could be problematic; informed consent is not. Present her with the offer, as well as the relevant information that she needs to make an informed decision. The offer is not only for a position with a particular compensation package, it is for an employment relationship with the company. Like any relationship, there are not only benefits, but liabilities and responsibilities. She needs to be made aware of the reasons that underlie your desire to recommend against taking the position, and then leave her to make her own decision. As part of this, highlight things that she may otherwise overlook, such as the fact that in her role as an intern, she has been insulated from some of the less palatable aspects of working there, as well as the fact that her work experience and her exemplary performance would qualify her to work at any number of other employers, and that it’s always wise to assess multiple offers rather than accepting the first opportunity that presents itself. Also stress that you’d be happy to serve as a reference not only for this role, but for any role outside of the company.



          Once you have laid all of your cards on the table, the decision to accept or reject the offer will truly be her decision, which she will be able to make with eyes wide open. She may choose to take the job and regret it. But if she does, it will be her choice and her learning experience. Unless you give her the relevant information, you’re depriving her of that opportunity to decide for herself. I appreciate your desire to go to bat for her. You just need to do so in a way that is equitable for all parties concerned. As long as you stick to the facts, you should be fine.






          share|improve this answer








          New contributor




          S. Hooley is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
          Check out our Code of Conduct.









          Advice could be problematic; informed consent is not. Present her with the offer, as well as the relevant information that she needs to make an informed decision. The offer is not only for a position with a particular compensation package, it is for an employment relationship with the company. Like any relationship, there are not only benefits, but liabilities and responsibilities. She needs to be made aware of the reasons that underlie your desire to recommend against taking the position, and then leave her to make her own decision. As part of this, highlight things that she may otherwise overlook, such as the fact that in her role as an intern, she has been insulated from some of the less palatable aspects of working there, as well as the fact that her work experience and her exemplary performance would qualify her to work at any number of other employers, and that it’s always wise to assess multiple offers rather than accepting the first opportunity that presents itself. Also stress that you’d be happy to serve as a reference not only for this role, but for any role outside of the company.



          Once you have laid all of your cards on the table, the decision to accept or reject the offer will truly be her decision, which she will be able to make with eyes wide open. She may choose to take the job and regret it. But if she does, it will be her choice and her learning experience. Unless you give her the relevant information, you’re depriving her of that opportunity to decide for herself. I appreciate your desire to go to bat for her. You just need to do so in a way that is equitable for all parties concerned. As long as you stick to the facts, you should be fine.







          share|improve this answer








          New contributor




          S. Hooley is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
          Check out our Code of Conduct.









          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer






          New contributor




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          answered 13 hours ago









          S. Hooley

          1294




          1294




          New contributor




          S. Hooley is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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          New contributor





          S. Hooley is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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          Check out our Code of Conduct.








          • 4




            +1. I think the key thing is to make sure she has enough information to be able to make an informed decision. It's not in the interest of the company either, if she joins and then quits after 2 months, because she didn't know what she was getting herself into.
            – Time4Tea
            13 hours ago










          • +1. But people give positive "you should come here" style advice all the time. I don't think it's out of line to give advice that would save someone from months or years of abuse from a "nightmare" manager.
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago










          • @AlexReinking, there's nothing obligating this person from staying with this company for years if it isn't mutually beneficial. if the person in question is a third party, then I agree, giving advice is fine. However, as a representative of the company, you have an obligation to represent the interests of the company. Giving someone the information that they need to make a decision for themselves does a good job of balancing those interests. If someone was moving across the country for the job, I would agree that taking a more proactively cautionary tone would be advisable.
            – S. Hooley
            12 hours ago










          • "There's nothing obligating this person from staying with this company for years" except for an abusive boss who might threaten to blacklist them should they leave, the great expenses (both social and financial) involved in relocating, the difficulty in finding a new job (depending on the industry), etc. The only obligations to one's employer are those drawn out in contract, typically in the US, that's just the labor they were hired to do.
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago














          • 4




            +1. I think the key thing is to make sure she has enough information to be able to make an informed decision. It's not in the interest of the company either, if she joins and then quits after 2 months, because she didn't know what she was getting herself into.
            – Time4Tea
            13 hours ago










          • +1. But people give positive "you should come here" style advice all the time. I don't think it's out of line to give advice that would save someone from months or years of abuse from a "nightmare" manager.
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago










          • @AlexReinking, there's nothing obligating this person from staying with this company for years if it isn't mutually beneficial. if the person in question is a third party, then I agree, giving advice is fine. However, as a representative of the company, you have an obligation to represent the interests of the company. Giving someone the information that they need to make a decision for themselves does a good job of balancing those interests. If someone was moving across the country for the job, I would agree that taking a more proactively cautionary tone would be advisable.
            – S. Hooley
            12 hours ago










          • "There's nothing obligating this person from staying with this company for years" except for an abusive boss who might threaten to blacklist them should they leave, the great expenses (both social and financial) involved in relocating, the difficulty in finding a new job (depending on the industry), etc. The only obligations to one's employer are those drawn out in contract, typically in the US, that's just the labor they were hired to do.
            – Alex Reinking
            12 hours ago








          4




          4




          +1. I think the key thing is to make sure she has enough information to be able to make an informed decision. It's not in the interest of the company either, if she joins and then quits after 2 months, because she didn't know what she was getting herself into.
          – Time4Tea
          13 hours ago




          +1. I think the key thing is to make sure she has enough information to be able to make an informed decision. It's not in the interest of the company either, if she joins and then quits after 2 months, because she didn't know what she was getting herself into.
          – Time4Tea
          13 hours ago












          +1. But people give positive "you should come here" style advice all the time. I don't think it's out of line to give advice that would save someone from months or years of abuse from a "nightmare" manager.
          – Alex Reinking
          12 hours ago




          +1. But people give positive "you should come here" style advice all the time. I don't think it's out of line to give advice that would save someone from months or years of abuse from a "nightmare" manager.
          – Alex Reinking
          12 hours ago












          @AlexReinking, there's nothing obligating this person from staying with this company for years if it isn't mutually beneficial. if the person in question is a third party, then I agree, giving advice is fine. However, as a representative of the company, you have an obligation to represent the interests of the company. Giving someone the information that they need to make a decision for themselves does a good job of balancing those interests. If someone was moving across the country for the job, I would agree that taking a more proactively cautionary tone would be advisable.
          – S. Hooley
          12 hours ago




          @AlexReinking, there's nothing obligating this person from staying with this company for years if it isn't mutually beneficial. if the person in question is a third party, then I agree, giving advice is fine. However, as a representative of the company, you have an obligation to represent the interests of the company. Giving someone the information that they need to make a decision for themselves does a good job of balancing those interests. If someone was moving across the country for the job, I would agree that taking a more proactively cautionary tone would be advisable.
          – S. Hooley
          12 hours ago












          "There's nothing obligating this person from staying with this company for years" except for an abusive boss who might threaten to blacklist them should they leave, the great expenses (both social and financial) involved in relocating, the difficulty in finding a new job (depending on the industry), etc. The only obligations to one's employer are those drawn out in contract, typically in the US, that's just the labor they were hired to do.
          – Alex Reinking
          12 hours ago




          "There's nothing obligating this person from staying with this company for years" except for an abusive boss who might threaten to blacklist them should they leave, the great expenses (both social and financial) involved in relocating, the difficulty in finding a new job (depending on the industry), etc. The only obligations to one's employer are those drawn out in contract, typically in the US, that's just the labor they were hired to do.
          – Alex Reinking
          12 hours ago










          up vote
          5
          down vote













          One major reason not to do this is: what if she accepts the offer, despite your warnings?



          You are now in a very awkward position: your junior is now in a position to blackmail you. This is especially important as you are considering jumping ship: your reputation capital gained at your current firm is at its most valuable.



          Regardless of whether the moral thing to do is telling the excellent former intern that your company is toxic and destined for the corporate dustbin , you are now putting your own career in jeopardy.



          A missed opportunity is a relatively minor thing early on in your career. Later on, being seen to act against your employer's interests and in a matter that is entirely work related... well, that's a line on your CV that you don't want.



          Attorneys are qualified to give moral, legal and financial advice. Those are good headings under which to analyse this decision.



          Morally - telling her the lay of the land is absolutely the correct thing to do. (Companies' personalities are a legal fiction and you owe them no moral loyalty - pay them no heed when considering right and wrong.)



          Legally - regardless of whether or not you are doing the company legal damage (and you probably are - tortious interference is the first thing that comes to mind), if your current company were to sue you on any grounds, it wouldn't be hard for a good attorney to find some pretext to introduce this situation into evidence to (correctly) portray you as disloyal. (This is particularly bad if you are in a jurisdiction where a jury is the trier of fact in civil cases.) So, while nothing will probably come of this, legally, you're doing yourself no favours at all by telling the intern how things are.



          Financially, there's no upside. Only potential downside. Grim as it is, your intern is a nobody and gaining her favour and gratitude gives you nothing tangible. (The keys to the Kingdom of Heaven don't figure on any balance sheets.)



          So, no attorney could tell you it was in your best interest to do this. Probably, you'd get away with it, and nothing would happen, other than you would get a warm glow from having gained the gratitude of the former intern. However, if this whole thing went wrong, it would probably go wrong very badly for you.



          To repeat: only downside.



          It's your life you're talking about, more than hers, and prudence and discretion should be your watchwords.



          By telling the intern how things are you aren't just being honest: you're asking her for her confidence, and that is by no means a given. A particularly mercenary and ambitious personality might even smell an opportunity in your indiscretion.



          I can completely understand how someone might nevertheless want to go ahead and warn the intern despite this advice; nevertheless, doing so is not the sensible and considered thing to do.






          share|improve this answer








          New contributor




          tmgr is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
          Check out our Code of Conduct.






















            up vote
            5
            down vote













            One major reason not to do this is: what if she accepts the offer, despite your warnings?



            You are now in a very awkward position: your junior is now in a position to blackmail you. This is especially important as you are considering jumping ship: your reputation capital gained at your current firm is at its most valuable.



            Regardless of whether the moral thing to do is telling the excellent former intern that your company is toxic and destined for the corporate dustbin , you are now putting your own career in jeopardy.



            A missed opportunity is a relatively minor thing early on in your career. Later on, being seen to act against your employer's interests and in a matter that is entirely work related... well, that's a line on your CV that you don't want.



            Attorneys are qualified to give moral, legal and financial advice. Those are good headings under which to analyse this decision.



            Morally - telling her the lay of the land is absolutely the correct thing to do. (Companies' personalities are a legal fiction and you owe them no moral loyalty - pay them no heed when considering right and wrong.)



            Legally - regardless of whether or not you are doing the company legal damage (and you probably are - tortious interference is the first thing that comes to mind), if your current company were to sue you on any grounds, it wouldn't be hard for a good attorney to find some pretext to introduce this situation into evidence to (correctly) portray you as disloyal. (This is particularly bad if you are in a jurisdiction where a jury is the trier of fact in civil cases.) So, while nothing will probably come of this, legally, you're doing yourself no favours at all by telling the intern how things are.



            Financially, there's no upside. Only potential downside. Grim as it is, your intern is a nobody and gaining her favour and gratitude gives you nothing tangible. (The keys to the Kingdom of Heaven don't figure on any balance sheets.)



            So, no attorney could tell you it was in your best interest to do this. Probably, you'd get away with it, and nothing would happen, other than you would get a warm glow from having gained the gratitude of the former intern. However, if this whole thing went wrong, it would probably go wrong very badly for you.



            To repeat: only downside.



            It's your life you're talking about, more than hers, and prudence and discretion should be your watchwords.



            By telling the intern how things are you aren't just being honest: you're asking her for her confidence, and that is by no means a given. A particularly mercenary and ambitious personality might even smell an opportunity in your indiscretion.



            I can completely understand how someone might nevertheless want to go ahead and warn the intern despite this advice; nevertheless, doing so is not the sensible and considered thing to do.






            share|improve this answer








            New contributor




            tmgr is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
            Check out our Code of Conduct.




















              up vote
              5
              down vote










              up vote
              5
              down vote









              One major reason not to do this is: what if she accepts the offer, despite your warnings?



              You are now in a very awkward position: your junior is now in a position to blackmail you. This is especially important as you are considering jumping ship: your reputation capital gained at your current firm is at its most valuable.



              Regardless of whether the moral thing to do is telling the excellent former intern that your company is toxic and destined for the corporate dustbin , you are now putting your own career in jeopardy.



              A missed opportunity is a relatively minor thing early on in your career. Later on, being seen to act against your employer's interests and in a matter that is entirely work related... well, that's a line on your CV that you don't want.



              Attorneys are qualified to give moral, legal and financial advice. Those are good headings under which to analyse this decision.



              Morally - telling her the lay of the land is absolutely the correct thing to do. (Companies' personalities are a legal fiction and you owe them no moral loyalty - pay them no heed when considering right and wrong.)



              Legally - regardless of whether or not you are doing the company legal damage (and you probably are - tortious interference is the first thing that comes to mind), if your current company were to sue you on any grounds, it wouldn't be hard for a good attorney to find some pretext to introduce this situation into evidence to (correctly) portray you as disloyal. (This is particularly bad if you are in a jurisdiction where a jury is the trier of fact in civil cases.) So, while nothing will probably come of this, legally, you're doing yourself no favours at all by telling the intern how things are.



              Financially, there's no upside. Only potential downside. Grim as it is, your intern is a nobody and gaining her favour and gratitude gives you nothing tangible. (The keys to the Kingdom of Heaven don't figure on any balance sheets.)



              So, no attorney could tell you it was in your best interest to do this. Probably, you'd get away with it, and nothing would happen, other than you would get a warm glow from having gained the gratitude of the former intern. However, if this whole thing went wrong, it would probably go wrong very badly for you.



              To repeat: only downside.



              It's your life you're talking about, more than hers, and prudence and discretion should be your watchwords.



              By telling the intern how things are you aren't just being honest: you're asking her for her confidence, and that is by no means a given. A particularly mercenary and ambitious personality might even smell an opportunity in your indiscretion.



              I can completely understand how someone might nevertheless want to go ahead and warn the intern despite this advice; nevertheless, doing so is not the sensible and considered thing to do.






              share|improve this answer








              New contributor




              tmgr is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
              Check out our Code of Conduct.









              One major reason not to do this is: what if she accepts the offer, despite your warnings?



              You are now in a very awkward position: your junior is now in a position to blackmail you. This is especially important as you are considering jumping ship: your reputation capital gained at your current firm is at its most valuable.



              Regardless of whether the moral thing to do is telling the excellent former intern that your company is toxic and destined for the corporate dustbin , you are now putting your own career in jeopardy.



              A missed opportunity is a relatively minor thing early on in your career. Later on, being seen to act against your employer's interests and in a matter that is entirely work related... well, that's a line on your CV that you don't want.



              Attorneys are qualified to give moral, legal and financial advice. Those are good headings under which to analyse this decision.



              Morally - telling her the lay of the land is absolutely the correct thing to do. (Companies' personalities are a legal fiction and you owe them no moral loyalty - pay them no heed when considering right and wrong.)



              Legally - regardless of whether or not you are doing the company legal damage (and you probably are - tortious interference is the first thing that comes to mind), if your current company were to sue you on any grounds, it wouldn't be hard for a good attorney to find some pretext to introduce this situation into evidence to (correctly) portray you as disloyal. (This is particularly bad if you are in a jurisdiction where a jury is the trier of fact in civil cases.) So, while nothing will probably come of this, legally, you're doing yourself no favours at all by telling the intern how things are.



              Financially, there's no upside. Only potential downside. Grim as it is, your intern is a nobody and gaining her favour and gratitude gives you nothing tangible. (The keys to the Kingdom of Heaven don't figure on any balance sheets.)



              So, no attorney could tell you it was in your best interest to do this. Probably, you'd get away with it, and nothing would happen, other than you would get a warm glow from having gained the gratitude of the former intern. However, if this whole thing went wrong, it would probably go wrong very badly for you.



              To repeat: only downside.



              It's your life you're talking about, more than hers, and prudence and discretion should be your watchwords.



              By telling the intern how things are you aren't just being honest: you're asking her for her confidence, and that is by no means a given. A particularly mercenary and ambitious personality might even smell an opportunity in your indiscretion.



              I can completely understand how someone might nevertheless want to go ahead and warn the intern despite this advice; nevertheless, doing so is not the sensible and considered thing to do.







              share|improve this answer








              New contributor




              tmgr is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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              share|improve this answer






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              answered 10 hours ago









              tmgr

              1673




              1673




              New contributor




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              New contributor





              tmgr is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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                  up vote
                  3
                  down vote













                  You should not do this.



                  As long as you work for the company, your allegiance and responsibility is to the company and not a potential future employee. You are free to decide for yourself whether to stay or go, but you should not be trying to keep the intern from joining the company. From your own review, she is a potentially valuable employee for the company and you would be actively trying to harm the company.



                  While I can't speak to specific legal concerns, I would expect in any country that actively trying to damage the future of the company is a fire-able offense at a minimum.






                  share|improve this answer

















                  • 30




                    This answers assumes that you somehow have an allegiance with your company outside the specific work you are hired to do. I don't think this is generally true. Both the company and the employee have to ensure that they are a good fit, you are asking the OP to lie about the fact that the company wont be a good fit for her. Given that we aren't in a capitalistic regime where the sole obligation is to money I'd do the right thing and just be honest about pros and cons and let her decide with full information. This is not actively harming the company, the company is harming itself by being awful.
                    – Bakuriu
                    13 hours ago






                  • 13




                    Is informing someone of all the pros and cons of a position REALLY against the companies interests, though? Doing so may prevent a situation where the person is hired on and leaves the company a week later, which would consume a lot of resources.
                    – CrazyPaste
                    13 hours ago






                  • 14




                    If you haven't noticed, companies have near 0 allegiance to their employees. Granted, they expect 100% loyalty from their employees, but very, very few show it to their employees. It's hard to buy into that one-way street.
                    – FreeMan
                    12 hours ago






                  • 10




                    @cdkMoose Absolutely wrong. Your moral responsibility to be honest and treat people well always trumps loyalty to your employer. To do otherwise marks someone as a horrible human being.
                    – Gabe Sechan
                    12 hours ago






                  • 3




                    @cdkMoose It doesn't matter. If its your opinion that the employer is horrible, its you duty as a decent human being to pass that information on to a potential employee. The potential employee can then factor that into their decision, along with their read on what factors give you that opinion and your biases. But not warning someone about a potentially toxic situation would make you a real asshole. Now there is a difference between dysfunctional and not right for me, in the second case it isn't necessary to pass anything on, unless you have reason to believe it applies to both of you.
                    – Gabe Sechan
                    11 hours ago

















                  up vote
                  3
                  down vote













                  You should not do this.



                  As long as you work for the company, your allegiance and responsibility is to the company and not a potential future employee. You are free to decide for yourself whether to stay or go, but you should not be trying to keep the intern from joining the company. From your own review, she is a potentially valuable employee for the company and you would be actively trying to harm the company.



                  While I can't speak to specific legal concerns, I would expect in any country that actively trying to damage the future of the company is a fire-able offense at a minimum.






                  share|improve this answer

















                  • 30




                    This answers assumes that you somehow have an allegiance with your company outside the specific work you are hired to do. I don't think this is generally true. Both the company and the employee have to ensure that they are a good fit, you are asking the OP to lie about the fact that the company wont be a good fit for her. Given that we aren't in a capitalistic regime where the sole obligation is to money I'd do the right thing and just be honest about pros and cons and let her decide with full information. This is not actively harming the company, the company is harming itself by being awful.
                    – Bakuriu
                    13 hours ago






                  • 13




                    Is informing someone of all the pros and cons of a position REALLY against the companies interests, though? Doing so may prevent a situation where the person is hired on and leaves the company a week later, which would consume a lot of resources.
                    – CrazyPaste
                    13 hours ago






                  • 14




                    If you haven't noticed, companies have near 0 allegiance to their employees. Granted, they expect 100% loyalty from their employees, but very, very few show it to their employees. It's hard to buy into that one-way street.
                    – FreeMan
                    12 hours ago






                  • 10




                    @cdkMoose Absolutely wrong. Your moral responsibility to be honest and treat people well always trumps loyalty to your employer. To do otherwise marks someone as a horrible human being.
                    – Gabe Sechan
                    12 hours ago






                  • 3




                    @cdkMoose It doesn't matter. If its your opinion that the employer is horrible, its you duty as a decent human being to pass that information on to a potential employee. The potential employee can then factor that into their decision, along with their read on what factors give you that opinion and your biases. But not warning someone about a potentially toxic situation would make you a real asshole. Now there is a difference between dysfunctional and not right for me, in the second case it isn't necessary to pass anything on, unless you have reason to believe it applies to both of you.
                    – Gabe Sechan
                    11 hours ago















                  up vote
                  3
                  down vote










                  up vote
                  3
                  down vote









                  You should not do this.



                  As long as you work for the company, your allegiance and responsibility is to the company and not a potential future employee. You are free to decide for yourself whether to stay or go, but you should not be trying to keep the intern from joining the company. From your own review, she is a potentially valuable employee for the company and you would be actively trying to harm the company.



                  While I can't speak to specific legal concerns, I would expect in any country that actively trying to damage the future of the company is a fire-able offense at a minimum.






                  share|improve this answer












                  You should not do this.



                  As long as you work for the company, your allegiance and responsibility is to the company and not a potential future employee. You are free to decide for yourself whether to stay or go, but you should not be trying to keep the intern from joining the company. From your own review, she is a potentially valuable employee for the company and you would be actively trying to harm the company.



                  While I can't speak to specific legal concerns, I would expect in any country that actively trying to damage the future of the company is a fire-able offense at a minimum.







                  share|improve this answer












                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer










                  answered 14 hours ago









                  cdkMoose

                  9,75422143




                  9,75422143








                  • 30




                    This answers assumes that you somehow have an allegiance with your company outside the specific work you are hired to do. I don't think this is generally true. Both the company and the employee have to ensure that they are a good fit, you are asking the OP to lie about the fact that the company wont be a good fit for her. Given that we aren't in a capitalistic regime where the sole obligation is to money I'd do the right thing and just be honest about pros and cons and let her decide with full information. This is not actively harming the company, the company is harming itself by being awful.
                    – Bakuriu
                    13 hours ago






                  • 13




                    Is informing someone of all the pros and cons of a position REALLY against the companies interests, though? Doing so may prevent a situation where the person is hired on and leaves the company a week later, which would consume a lot of resources.
                    – CrazyPaste
                    13 hours ago






                  • 14




                    If you haven't noticed, companies have near 0 allegiance to their employees. Granted, they expect 100% loyalty from their employees, but very, very few show it to their employees. It's hard to buy into that one-way street.
                    – FreeMan
                    12 hours ago






                  • 10




                    @cdkMoose Absolutely wrong. Your moral responsibility to be honest and treat people well always trumps loyalty to your employer. To do otherwise marks someone as a horrible human being.
                    – Gabe Sechan
                    12 hours ago






                  • 3




                    @cdkMoose It doesn't matter. If its your opinion that the employer is horrible, its you duty as a decent human being to pass that information on to a potential employee. The potential employee can then factor that into their decision, along with their read on what factors give you that opinion and your biases. But not warning someone about a potentially toxic situation would make you a real asshole. Now there is a difference between dysfunctional and not right for me, in the second case it isn't necessary to pass anything on, unless you have reason to believe it applies to both of you.
                    – Gabe Sechan
                    11 hours ago
















                  • 30




                    This answers assumes that you somehow have an allegiance with your company outside the specific work you are hired to do. I don't think this is generally true. Both the company and the employee have to ensure that they are a good fit, you are asking the OP to lie about the fact that the company wont be a good fit for her. Given that we aren't in a capitalistic regime where the sole obligation is to money I'd do the right thing and just be honest about pros and cons and let her decide with full information. This is not actively harming the company, the company is harming itself by being awful.
                    – Bakuriu
                    13 hours ago






                  • 13




                    Is informing someone of all the pros and cons of a position REALLY against the companies interests, though? Doing so may prevent a situation where the person is hired on and leaves the company a week later, which would consume a lot of resources.
                    – CrazyPaste
                    13 hours ago






                  • 14




                    If you haven't noticed, companies have near 0 allegiance to their employees. Granted, they expect 100% loyalty from their employees, but very, very few show it to their employees. It's hard to buy into that one-way street.
                    – FreeMan
                    12 hours ago






                  • 10




                    @cdkMoose Absolutely wrong. Your moral responsibility to be honest and treat people well always trumps loyalty to your employer. To do otherwise marks someone as a horrible human being.
                    – Gabe Sechan
                    12 hours ago






                  • 3




                    @cdkMoose It doesn't matter. If its your opinion that the employer is horrible, its you duty as a decent human being to pass that information on to a potential employee. The potential employee can then factor that into their decision, along with their read on what factors give you that opinion and your biases. But not warning someone about a potentially toxic situation would make you a real asshole. Now there is a difference between dysfunctional and not right for me, in the second case it isn't necessary to pass anything on, unless you have reason to believe it applies to both of you.
                    – Gabe Sechan
                    11 hours ago










                  30




                  30




                  This answers assumes that you somehow have an allegiance with your company outside the specific work you are hired to do. I don't think this is generally true. Both the company and the employee have to ensure that they are a good fit, you are asking the OP to lie about the fact that the company wont be a good fit for her. Given that we aren't in a capitalistic regime where the sole obligation is to money I'd do the right thing and just be honest about pros and cons and let her decide with full information. This is not actively harming the company, the company is harming itself by being awful.
                  – Bakuriu
                  13 hours ago




                  This answers assumes that you somehow have an allegiance with your company outside the specific work you are hired to do. I don't think this is generally true. Both the company and the employee have to ensure that they are a good fit, you are asking the OP to lie about the fact that the company wont be a good fit for her. Given that we aren't in a capitalistic regime where the sole obligation is to money I'd do the right thing and just be honest about pros and cons and let her decide with full information. This is not actively harming the company, the company is harming itself by being awful.
                  – Bakuriu
                  13 hours ago




                  13




                  13




                  Is informing someone of all the pros and cons of a position REALLY against the companies interests, though? Doing so may prevent a situation where the person is hired on and leaves the company a week later, which would consume a lot of resources.
                  – CrazyPaste
                  13 hours ago




                  Is informing someone of all the pros and cons of a position REALLY against the companies interests, though? Doing so may prevent a situation where the person is hired on and leaves the company a week later, which would consume a lot of resources.
                  – CrazyPaste
                  13 hours ago




                  14




                  14




                  If you haven't noticed, companies have near 0 allegiance to their employees. Granted, they expect 100% loyalty from their employees, but very, very few show it to their employees. It's hard to buy into that one-way street.
                  – FreeMan
                  12 hours ago




                  If you haven't noticed, companies have near 0 allegiance to their employees. Granted, they expect 100% loyalty from their employees, but very, very few show it to their employees. It's hard to buy into that one-way street.
                  – FreeMan
                  12 hours ago




                  10




                  10




                  @cdkMoose Absolutely wrong. Your moral responsibility to be honest and treat people well always trumps loyalty to your employer. To do otherwise marks someone as a horrible human being.
                  – Gabe Sechan
                  12 hours ago




                  @cdkMoose Absolutely wrong. Your moral responsibility to be honest and treat people well always trumps loyalty to your employer. To do otherwise marks someone as a horrible human being.
                  – Gabe Sechan
                  12 hours ago




                  3




                  3




                  @cdkMoose It doesn't matter. If its your opinion that the employer is horrible, its you duty as a decent human being to pass that information on to a potential employee. The potential employee can then factor that into their decision, along with their read on what factors give you that opinion and your biases. But not warning someone about a potentially toxic situation would make you a real asshole. Now there is a difference between dysfunctional and not right for me, in the second case it isn't necessary to pass anything on, unless you have reason to believe it applies to both of you.
                  – Gabe Sechan
                  11 hours ago






                  @cdkMoose It doesn't matter. If its your opinion that the employer is horrible, its you duty as a decent human being to pass that information on to a potential employee. The potential employee can then factor that into their decision, along with their read on what factors give you that opinion and your biases. But not warning someone about a potentially toxic situation would make you a real asshole. Now there is a difference between dysfunctional and not right for me, in the second case it isn't necessary to pass anything on, unless you have reason to believe it applies to both of you.
                  – Gabe Sechan
                  11 hours ago












                  up vote
                  3
                  down vote













                  If this other Manager is as bad as you make them out to be, I recommend that you:




                  1. Make sure she is aware that this other Manager is going to be managing her and that their style may be different to yours.

                  2. Try to arrange for her to meet with this other Manager in person, before deciding whether to accept.


                  If she meets with the other Manager, then it may help her to get a better feel for what they are like, and whether they are someone that she can work with. If it was me, I would definitely want to meet with a prospective new Manager first, to make sure the 'personality fit' is right, because the relationship you have with your direct Manager is so important.



                  Otherwise, I agree with the other answers that recommend meeting her informally to discuss the situation. Don't advise her not to take it, but try to make sure she has enough information to be able to make an informed decision. The decision has to be hers. Even if that other Manager is difficult to work with, she might decide it would be good to work there for 6 months to a year, just to get their name on her resume, which is fair enough.



                  Helping her to make an informed decision is not, in my opinion, contrary to the interests of the company. It would not be in the interests of the company, if she leaves after 2 months because she didn't realize what she was getting herself into.






                  share|improve this answer

















                  • 1




                    Having her meet with her potential manager is a great idea. I would expect this to be part of the process anyway. But if it's not, take it upon yourself to make it happen.
                    – Joe Strazzere
                    11 hours ago















                  up vote
                  3
                  down vote













                  If this other Manager is as bad as you make them out to be, I recommend that you:




                  1. Make sure she is aware that this other Manager is going to be managing her and that their style may be different to yours.

                  2. Try to arrange for her to meet with this other Manager in person, before deciding whether to accept.


                  If she meets with the other Manager, then it may help her to get a better feel for what they are like, and whether they are someone that she can work with. If it was me, I would definitely want to meet with a prospective new Manager first, to make sure the 'personality fit' is right, because the relationship you have with your direct Manager is so important.



                  Otherwise, I agree with the other answers that recommend meeting her informally to discuss the situation. Don't advise her not to take it, but try to make sure she has enough information to be able to make an informed decision. The decision has to be hers. Even if that other Manager is difficult to work with, she might decide it would be good to work there for 6 months to a year, just to get their name on her resume, which is fair enough.



                  Helping her to make an informed decision is not, in my opinion, contrary to the interests of the company. It would not be in the interests of the company, if she leaves after 2 months because she didn't realize what she was getting herself into.






                  share|improve this answer

















                  • 1




                    Having her meet with her potential manager is a great idea. I would expect this to be part of the process anyway. But if it's not, take it upon yourself to make it happen.
                    – Joe Strazzere
                    11 hours ago













                  up vote
                  3
                  down vote










                  up vote
                  3
                  down vote









                  If this other Manager is as bad as you make them out to be, I recommend that you:




                  1. Make sure she is aware that this other Manager is going to be managing her and that their style may be different to yours.

                  2. Try to arrange for her to meet with this other Manager in person, before deciding whether to accept.


                  If she meets with the other Manager, then it may help her to get a better feel for what they are like, and whether they are someone that she can work with. If it was me, I would definitely want to meet with a prospective new Manager first, to make sure the 'personality fit' is right, because the relationship you have with your direct Manager is so important.



                  Otherwise, I agree with the other answers that recommend meeting her informally to discuss the situation. Don't advise her not to take it, but try to make sure she has enough information to be able to make an informed decision. The decision has to be hers. Even if that other Manager is difficult to work with, she might decide it would be good to work there for 6 months to a year, just to get their name on her resume, which is fair enough.



                  Helping her to make an informed decision is not, in my opinion, contrary to the interests of the company. It would not be in the interests of the company, if she leaves after 2 months because she didn't realize what she was getting herself into.






                  share|improve this answer












                  If this other Manager is as bad as you make them out to be, I recommend that you:




                  1. Make sure she is aware that this other Manager is going to be managing her and that their style may be different to yours.

                  2. Try to arrange for her to meet with this other Manager in person, before deciding whether to accept.


                  If she meets with the other Manager, then it may help her to get a better feel for what they are like, and whether they are someone that she can work with. If it was me, I would definitely want to meet with a prospective new Manager first, to make sure the 'personality fit' is right, because the relationship you have with your direct Manager is so important.



                  Otherwise, I agree with the other answers that recommend meeting her informally to discuss the situation. Don't advise her not to take it, but try to make sure she has enough information to be able to make an informed decision. The decision has to be hers. Even if that other Manager is difficult to work with, she might decide it would be good to work there for 6 months to a year, just to get their name on her resume, which is fair enough.



                  Helping her to make an informed decision is not, in my opinion, contrary to the interests of the company. It would not be in the interests of the company, if she leaves after 2 months because she didn't realize what she was getting herself into.







                  share|improve this answer












                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer










                  answered 11 hours ago









                  Time4Tea

                  2,6993925




                  2,6993925








                  • 1




                    Having her meet with her potential manager is a great idea. I would expect this to be part of the process anyway. But if it's not, take it upon yourself to make it happen.
                    – Joe Strazzere
                    11 hours ago














                  • 1




                    Having her meet with her potential manager is a great idea. I would expect this to be part of the process anyway. But if it's not, take it upon yourself to make it happen.
                    – Joe Strazzere
                    11 hours ago








                  1




                  1




                  Having her meet with her potential manager is a great idea. I would expect this to be part of the process anyway. But if it's not, take it upon yourself to make it happen.
                  – Joe Strazzere
                  11 hours ago




                  Having her meet with her potential manager is a great idea. I would expect this to be part of the process anyway. But if it's not, take it upon yourself to make it happen.
                  – Joe Strazzere
                  11 hours ago










                  up vote
                  2
                  down vote














                  I'm personally in the midst of looking for other opportunities. And the person she would report to (even if I were to stay) is an absolute nightmare to work with (I was able to keep him at a distance during the internship).




                  Only you know the extent of this would-be manager's abusiveness, but given that you deliberately shielded your intern from him, my instincts suggest he is quite bad indeed.



                  If giving her direct advice to reject the offer would spare her months or even years of abuse and would not constitute a worse roadblock in her career (perhaps offer her your recommendation to another job), then it is the company's problem that they keep so toxic a person in their employ. It might even save the company a lawsuit down the line, depending again on the manager's misbehavior.



                  Do, then, what the other answers suggest: give her the offer as is required by your job duties, and then (on your own time) give her all the objective, legal-to-divulge information she would need to make an informed decision. In particular, it sounds like you will need to tell her about this manager since she doesn't have any information about him already.






                  share|improve this answer

























                    up vote
                    2
                    down vote














                    I'm personally in the midst of looking for other opportunities. And the person she would report to (even if I were to stay) is an absolute nightmare to work with (I was able to keep him at a distance during the internship).




                    Only you know the extent of this would-be manager's abusiveness, but given that you deliberately shielded your intern from him, my instincts suggest he is quite bad indeed.



                    If giving her direct advice to reject the offer would spare her months or even years of abuse and would not constitute a worse roadblock in her career (perhaps offer her your recommendation to another job), then it is the company's problem that they keep so toxic a person in their employ. It might even save the company a lawsuit down the line, depending again on the manager's misbehavior.



                    Do, then, what the other answers suggest: give her the offer as is required by your job duties, and then (on your own time) give her all the objective, legal-to-divulge information she would need to make an informed decision. In particular, it sounds like you will need to tell her about this manager since she doesn't have any information about him already.






                    share|improve this answer























                      up vote
                      2
                      down vote










                      up vote
                      2
                      down vote










                      I'm personally in the midst of looking for other opportunities. And the person she would report to (even if I were to stay) is an absolute nightmare to work with (I was able to keep him at a distance during the internship).




                      Only you know the extent of this would-be manager's abusiveness, but given that you deliberately shielded your intern from him, my instincts suggest he is quite bad indeed.



                      If giving her direct advice to reject the offer would spare her months or even years of abuse and would not constitute a worse roadblock in her career (perhaps offer her your recommendation to another job), then it is the company's problem that they keep so toxic a person in their employ. It might even save the company a lawsuit down the line, depending again on the manager's misbehavior.



                      Do, then, what the other answers suggest: give her the offer as is required by your job duties, and then (on your own time) give her all the objective, legal-to-divulge information she would need to make an informed decision. In particular, it sounds like you will need to tell her about this manager since she doesn't have any information about him already.






                      share|improve this answer













                      I'm personally in the midst of looking for other opportunities. And the person she would report to (even if I were to stay) is an absolute nightmare to work with (I was able to keep him at a distance during the internship).




                      Only you know the extent of this would-be manager's abusiveness, but given that you deliberately shielded your intern from him, my instincts suggest he is quite bad indeed.



                      If giving her direct advice to reject the offer would spare her months or even years of abuse and would not constitute a worse roadblock in her career (perhaps offer her your recommendation to another job), then it is the company's problem that they keep so toxic a person in their employ. It might even save the company a lawsuit down the line, depending again on the manager's misbehavior.



                      Do, then, what the other answers suggest: give her the offer as is required by your job duties, and then (on your own time) give her all the objective, legal-to-divulge information she would need to make an informed decision. In particular, it sounds like you will need to tell her about this manager since she doesn't have any information about him already.







                      share|improve this answer












                      share|improve this answer



                      share|improve this answer










                      answered 12 hours ago









                      Alex Reinking

                      208210




                      208210






















                          up vote
                          1
                          down vote













                          I think the ethical thing would be to resign or at the very least ask somebody else to handle the hiring negotiations and process. You should not be in a position of trust while actively considering what is essentially sabotage, as much as I commend your protectiveness.






                          share|improve this answer








                          New contributor




                          Dan is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                          Check out our Code of Conduct.






















                            up vote
                            1
                            down vote













                            I think the ethical thing would be to resign or at the very least ask somebody else to handle the hiring negotiations and process. You should not be in a position of trust while actively considering what is essentially sabotage, as much as I commend your protectiveness.






                            share|improve this answer








                            New contributor




                            Dan is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                            Check out our Code of Conduct.




















                              up vote
                              1
                              down vote










                              up vote
                              1
                              down vote









                              I think the ethical thing would be to resign or at the very least ask somebody else to handle the hiring negotiations and process. You should not be in a position of trust while actively considering what is essentially sabotage, as much as I commend your protectiveness.






                              share|improve this answer








                              New contributor




                              Dan is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                              Check out our Code of Conduct.









                              I think the ethical thing would be to resign or at the very least ask somebody else to handle the hiring negotiations and process. You should not be in a position of trust while actively considering what is essentially sabotage, as much as I commend your protectiveness.







                              share|improve this answer








                              New contributor




                              Dan is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                              Check out our Code of Conduct.









                              share|improve this answer



                              share|improve this answer






                              New contributor




                              Dan is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                              Check out our Code of Conduct.









                              answered 9 hours ago









                              Dan

                              211




                              211




                              New contributor




                              Dan is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                              Check out our Code of Conduct.





                              New contributor





                              Dan is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                              Check out our Code of Conduct.






                              Dan is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                              Check out our Code of Conduct.






















                                  up vote
                                  1
                                  down vote













                                  Your only responsibility is to make sure she gets enough information to make an informed decision.



                                  We are talking here about a person who has already worked an internship at your company. She didn't work for Manager X but it's a 12-person company, I find it hard to believe that she knows nothing about him. At the maximum, try to broker a meeting between her and her prospective new manager prior to the offer.



                                  You need to realize that




                                  1. You may be burned out and being overly bitter. Apparently a bunch of other folks work at the company and haven't fled screaming. You are likely projecting your own dissatisfaction about random "inside baseball" decisions on a new grad that just wants some good experience coding and a good-looking resume line item of working for a startup. There is nothing "ethical" about spreading your negativity to someone else.


                                  2. Anything beyond openly discussing with the team that you think the role might not be a good fit for her is direct sabotage of your company. You seem to feel that no one should come work there because it's so bad. You should be looking for other opportunities instead of sabotaging them. As a hiring manager, if I found someone on my team had told a candidate "don't come here this company is dysfunctional," they would immediately be fired for cause.







                                  share|improve this answer

























                                    up vote
                                    1
                                    down vote













                                    Your only responsibility is to make sure she gets enough information to make an informed decision.



                                    We are talking here about a person who has already worked an internship at your company. She didn't work for Manager X but it's a 12-person company, I find it hard to believe that she knows nothing about him. At the maximum, try to broker a meeting between her and her prospective new manager prior to the offer.



                                    You need to realize that




                                    1. You may be burned out and being overly bitter. Apparently a bunch of other folks work at the company and haven't fled screaming. You are likely projecting your own dissatisfaction about random "inside baseball" decisions on a new grad that just wants some good experience coding and a good-looking resume line item of working for a startup. There is nothing "ethical" about spreading your negativity to someone else.


                                    2. Anything beyond openly discussing with the team that you think the role might not be a good fit for her is direct sabotage of your company. You seem to feel that no one should come work there because it's so bad. You should be looking for other opportunities instead of sabotaging them. As a hiring manager, if I found someone on my team had told a candidate "don't come here this company is dysfunctional," they would immediately be fired for cause.







                                    share|improve this answer























                                      up vote
                                      1
                                      down vote










                                      up vote
                                      1
                                      down vote









                                      Your only responsibility is to make sure she gets enough information to make an informed decision.



                                      We are talking here about a person who has already worked an internship at your company. She didn't work for Manager X but it's a 12-person company, I find it hard to believe that she knows nothing about him. At the maximum, try to broker a meeting between her and her prospective new manager prior to the offer.



                                      You need to realize that




                                      1. You may be burned out and being overly bitter. Apparently a bunch of other folks work at the company and haven't fled screaming. You are likely projecting your own dissatisfaction about random "inside baseball" decisions on a new grad that just wants some good experience coding and a good-looking resume line item of working for a startup. There is nothing "ethical" about spreading your negativity to someone else.


                                      2. Anything beyond openly discussing with the team that you think the role might not be a good fit for her is direct sabotage of your company. You seem to feel that no one should come work there because it's so bad. You should be looking for other opportunities instead of sabotaging them. As a hiring manager, if I found someone on my team had told a candidate "don't come here this company is dysfunctional," they would immediately be fired for cause.







                                      share|improve this answer












                                      Your only responsibility is to make sure she gets enough information to make an informed decision.



                                      We are talking here about a person who has already worked an internship at your company. She didn't work for Manager X but it's a 12-person company, I find it hard to believe that she knows nothing about him. At the maximum, try to broker a meeting between her and her prospective new manager prior to the offer.



                                      You need to realize that




                                      1. You may be burned out and being overly bitter. Apparently a bunch of other folks work at the company and haven't fled screaming. You are likely projecting your own dissatisfaction about random "inside baseball" decisions on a new grad that just wants some good experience coding and a good-looking resume line item of working for a startup. There is nothing "ethical" about spreading your negativity to someone else.


                                      2. Anything beyond openly discussing with the team that you think the role might not be a good fit for her is direct sabotage of your company. You seem to feel that no one should come work there because it's so bad. You should be looking for other opportunities instead of sabotaging them. As a hiring manager, if I found someone on my team had told a candidate "don't come here this company is dysfunctional," they would immediately be fired for cause.








                                      share|improve this answer












                                      share|improve this answer



                                      share|improve this answer










                                      answered 6 hours ago









                                      mxyzplk

                                      7,76622336




                                      7,76622336






















                                          up vote
                                          0
                                          down vote













                                          There's probably something in your contract that expressly forbids this sort of thing; even if there isn't, this probably wouldn't look great for you to be doing.



                                          That said, there is a difference between making an offer and recommending the offer, and that's in presentation. You could go into the meeting and say "hey, you got the offer! Good job! Here's the contents of the offer. I think it's really great because XYZ". You could also go into the meeting and say "We have decided to present you an offer. The contents of the offer are XYZ. Please let us know your decision." One statement of the offer obviously plays up the offer and makes it more attractive to take. The other one doesn't. (IANAL) You are probably obligated only to present the offer, but not to be energetic about it, so just don't.






                                          share|improve this answer

















                                          • 5




                                            "There's probably something in your contract that expressly forbids this sort of thing." This is extremely location-specific advice. White-collar direct employment jobs typically have no employment contract in the U.S., for example.
                                            – reirab
                                            13 hours ago















                                          up vote
                                          0
                                          down vote













                                          There's probably something in your contract that expressly forbids this sort of thing; even if there isn't, this probably wouldn't look great for you to be doing.



                                          That said, there is a difference between making an offer and recommending the offer, and that's in presentation. You could go into the meeting and say "hey, you got the offer! Good job! Here's the contents of the offer. I think it's really great because XYZ". You could also go into the meeting and say "We have decided to present you an offer. The contents of the offer are XYZ. Please let us know your decision." One statement of the offer obviously plays up the offer and makes it more attractive to take. The other one doesn't. (IANAL) You are probably obligated only to present the offer, but not to be energetic about it, so just don't.






                                          share|improve this answer

















                                          • 5




                                            "There's probably something in your contract that expressly forbids this sort of thing." This is extremely location-specific advice. White-collar direct employment jobs typically have no employment contract in the U.S., for example.
                                            – reirab
                                            13 hours ago













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                                          up vote
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                                          There's probably something in your contract that expressly forbids this sort of thing; even if there isn't, this probably wouldn't look great for you to be doing.



                                          That said, there is a difference between making an offer and recommending the offer, and that's in presentation. You could go into the meeting and say "hey, you got the offer! Good job! Here's the contents of the offer. I think it's really great because XYZ". You could also go into the meeting and say "We have decided to present you an offer. The contents of the offer are XYZ. Please let us know your decision." One statement of the offer obviously plays up the offer and makes it more attractive to take. The other one doesn't. (IANAL) You are probably obligated only to present the offer, but not to be energetic about it, so just don't.






                                          share|improve this answer












                                          There's probably something in your contract that expressly forbids this sort of thing; even if there isn't, this probably wouldn't look great for you to be doing.



                                          That said, there is a difference between making an offer and recommending the offer, and that's in presentation. You could go into the meeting and say "hey, you got the offer! Good job! Here's the contents of the offer. I think it's really great because XYZ". You could also go into the meeting and say "We have decided to present you an offer. The contents of the offer are XYZ. Please let us know your decision." One statement of the offer obviously plays up the offer and makes it more attractive to take. The other one doesn't. (IANAL) You are probably obligated only to present the offer, but not to be energetic about it, so just don't.







                                          share|improve this answer












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                                          share|improve this answer










                                          answered 14 hours ago









                                          Ertai87

                                          4,871518




                                          4,871518








                                          • 5




                                            "There's probably something in your contract that expressly forbids this sort of thing." This is extremely location-specific advice. White-collar direct employment jobs typically have no employment contract in the U.S., for example.
                                            – reirab
                                            13 hours ago














                                          • 5




                                            "There's probably something in your contract that expressly forbids this sort of thing." This is extremely location-specific advice. White-collar direct employment jobs typically have no employment contract in the U.S., for example.
                                            – reirab
                                            13 hours ago








                                          5




                                          5




                                          "There's probably something in your contract that expressly forbids this sort of thing." This is extremely location-specific advice. White-collar direct employment jobs typically have no employment contract in the U.S., for example.
                                          – reirab
                                          13 hours ago




                                          "There's probably something in your contract that expressly forbids this sort of thing." This is extremely location-specific advice. White-collar direct employment jobs typically have no employment contract in the U.S., for example.
                                          – reirab
                                          13 hours ago





                                          protected by Jane S 5 hours ago



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