How to explain that I do not want to visit a country due to personal safety concern?












38















I have been invited to visit a professor in a different country. I am very reluctant to go. The government of this country is currently under investigation by the UN for suspicions of crimes against humanity targeted at people of the same ethnic background as me. More generally, people from my ethnic background are legally considered second-class citizens (when they are citizens at all) in this country, and routinely get physically aggressed in the street without the police or army doing anything, even partaking sometimes...



How should I explain to this professor that I do not want to go? Should I get into details, invent a different reason?










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  • 16





    Are you willing to disclose your ethic background to the professor or do you want to keep it private? Is your reason your personal safety or a broader political statement?

    – StrongBad
    yesterday











  • @StrongBad ethic or ethnic?

    – Federico Poloni
    yesterday











  • Related workplace.SE question: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/119360/… (mentions safety)

    – shoover
    yesterday






  • 12





    Moderator’s notice: I removed the discussions about the validity of the asker’s concerns as this is not the right place to debate them. Please assume that them as given for the purpose of this question.

    – Wrzlprmft
    18 hours ago








  • 1





    @Wrzlprmft: The OP has a number of mistaken beliefs, and those mistaken beliefs are contributing to his/her decision. I don't see why you suggest that answers (and comments) should ignore this. If someone asked a question predicated on the assumption that women make poor professors, would you expect everyone to silently accept that assumption for purposes of answering the question?

    – ruakh
    4 hours ago
















38















I have been invited to visit a professor in a different country. I am very reluctant to go. The government of this country is currently under investigation by the UN for suspicions of crimes against humanity targeted at people of the same ethnic background as me. More generally, people from my ethnic background are legally considered second-class citizens (when they are citizens at all) in this country, and routinely get physically aggressed in the street without the police or army doing anything, even partaking sometimes...



How should I explain to this professor that I do not want to go? Should I get into details, invent a different reason?










share|improve this question









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  • 16





    Are you willing to disclose your ethic background to the professor or do you want to keep it private? Is your reason your personal safety or a broader political statement?

    – StrongBad
    yesterday











  • @StrongBad ethic or ethnic?

    – Federico Poloni
    yesterday











  • Related workplace.SE question: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/119360/… (mentions safety)

    – shoover
    yesterday






  • 12





    Moderator’s notice: I removed the discussions about the validity of the asker’s concerns as this is not the right place to debate them. Please assume that them as given for the purpose of this question.

    – Wrzlprmft
    18 hours ago








  • 1





    @Wrzlprmft: The OP has a number of mistaken beliefs, and those mistaken beliefs are contributing to his/her decision. I don't see why you suggest that answers (and comments) should ignore this. If someone asked a question predicated on the assumption that women make poor professors, would you expect everyone to silently accept that assumption for purposes of answering the question?

    – ruakh
    4 hours ago














38












38








38


1






I have been invited to visit a professor in a different country. I am very reluctant to go. The government of this country is currently under investigation by the UN for suspicions of crimes against humanity targeted at people of the same ethnic background as me. More generally, people from my ethnic background are legally considered second-class citizens (when they are citizens at all) in this country, and routinely get physically aggressed in the street without the police or army doing anything, even partaking sometimes...



How should I explain to this professor that I do not want to go? Should I get into details, invent a different reason?










share|improve this question









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user105594 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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I have been invited to visit a professor in a different country. I am very reluctant to go. The government of this country is currently under investigation by the UN for suspicions of crimes against humanity targeted at people of the same ethnic background as me. More generally, people from my ethnic background are legally considered second-class citizens (when they are citizens at all) in this country, and routinely get physically aggressed in the street without the police or army doing anything, even partaking sometimes...



How should I explain to this professor that I do not want to go? Should I get into details, invent a different reason?







interpersonal-issues international travel visiting






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edited yesterday









darij grinberg

2,94311223




2,94311223






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asked yesterday









user105594user105594

20023




20023




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  • 16





    Are you willing to disclose your ethic background to the professor or do you want to keep it private? Is your reason your personal safety or a broader political statement?

    – StrongBad
    yesterday











  • @StrongBad ethic or ethnic?

    – Federico Poloni
    yesterday











  • Related workplace.SE question: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/119360/… (mentions safety)

    – shoover
    yesterday






  • 12





    Moderator’s notice: I removed the discussions about the validity of the asker’s concerns as this is not the right place to debate them. Please assume that them as given for the purpose of this question.

    – Wrzlprmft
    18 hours ago








  • 1





    @Wrzlprmft: The OP has a number of mistaken beliefs, and those mistaken beliefs are contributing to his/her decision. I don't see why you suggest that answers (and comments) should ignore this. If someone asked a question predicated on the assumption that women make poor professors, would you expect everyone to silently accept that assumption for purposes of answering the question?

    – ruakh
    4 hours ago














  • 16





    Are you willing to disclose your ethic background to the professor or do you want to keep it private? Is your reason your personal safety or a broader political statement?

    – StrongBad
    yesterday











  • @StrongBad ethic or ethnic?

    – Federico Poloni
    yesterday











  • Related workplace.SE question: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/119360/… (mentions safety)

    – shoover
    yesterday






  • 12





    Moderator’s notice: I removed the discussions about the validity of the asker’s concerns as this is not the right place to debate them. Please assume that them as given for the purpose of this question.

    – Wrzlprmft
    18 hours ago








  • 1





    @Wrzlprmft: The OP has a number of mistaken beliefs, and those mistaken beliefs are contributing to his/her decision. I don't see why you suggest that answers (and comments) should ignore this. If someone asked a question predicated on the assumption that women make poor professors, would you expect everyone to silently accept that assumption for purposes of answering the question?

    – ruakh
    4 hours ago








16




16





Are you willing to disclose your ethic background to the professor or do you want to keep it private? Is your reason your personal safety or a broader political statement?

– StrongBad
yesterday





Are you willing to disclose your ethic background to the professor or do you want to keep it private? Is your reason your personal safety or a broader political statement?

– StrongBad
yesterday













@StrongBad ethic or ethnic?

– Federico Poloni
yesterday





@StrongBad ethic or ethnic?

– Federico Poloni
yesterday













Related workplace.SE question: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/119360/… (mentions safety)

– shoover
yesterday





Related workplace.SE question: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/119360/… (mentions safety)

– shoover
yesterday




12




12





Moderator’s notice: I removed the discussions about the validity of the asker’s concerns as this is not the right place to debate them. Please assume that them as given for the purpose of this question.

– Wrzlprmft
18 hours ago







Moderator’s notice: I removed the discussions about the validity of the asker’s concerns as this is not the right place to debate them. Please assume that them as given for the purpose of this question.

– Wrzlprmft
18 hours ago






1




1





@Wrzlprmft: The OP has a number of mistaken beliefs, and those mistaken beliefs are contributing to his/her decision. I don't see why you suggest that answers (and comments) should ignore this. If someone asked a question predicated on the assumption that women make poor professors, would you expect everyone to silently accept that assumption for purposes of answering the question?

– ruakh
4 hours ago





@Wrzlprmft: The OP has a number of mistaken beliefs, and those mistaken beliefs are contributing to his/her decision. I don't see why you suggest that answers (and comments) should ignore this. If someone asked a question predicated on the assumption that women make poor professors, would you expect everyone to silently accept that assumption for purposes of answering the question?

– ruakh
4 hours ago










5 Answers
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36














If I were you I'd have the same concerns. In fact, I'm not like you, and I have the same concerns.



But don't confuse the people of Israel with its government. Certainly there are bad actors there, but I also know many Israelis who are more than decent people and oppose the government actions and attitudes that you worry about.



That said, you may be wise to avoid such a trip. But don't assume, necessarily, that the professor would disagree with your true reasons. There is no way to predict, of course, since opinion about Israeli-Palestinian issues come in "all shades of grey" in Israel.



If it is a question of meeting, rather than visiting the professor's institute, you might suggest meeting elsewhere, say at an international meeting.



To flip it a bit, there are quite a lot of people in the world unwilling to visit the US because of recent trends and attitudes here - and some that are not so recent. And I won't visit Mexico, for example, though I love the place, not because the government is bad, but because of the danger of drug gangs and killings and an ineffective government.





Note that I answered the question based on its original form which was tagged israel. However, the same concerns would apply in other contexts and there might be serious issues for some people visiting some countries. But my general advice still holds. Don't conflate the government of a place with its individual citizens. Some of them would support government actions and others would not. The world currently has far too much of this. I've actually known people who won't visit Germany because of its Nazi past, though, til recently at least, it has seemed completely redeemed.






share|improve this answer





















  • 4





    It sounds like your latter paragraph is a major part of the OP's concern. Whatever the issues with politics may be, he's mainly worried about his personal safety and with whether the police and military will protect him if he is assaulted, or indeed whether they'll be the ones assaulting him. Mexico and then some, basically. :/

    – Graham
    yesterday






  • 2





    @Buffy I agree with your comment and I think it may be helpful to just remove the parts of your answer that would only apply to a specific country.

    – David Ketcheson
    11 hours ago



















16














I work in a country where a few colleagues do not wish to visit, for various reasons. Some of these reasons are based on accurate perceptions and others are not. Some of those colleagues have been willing to frankly discuss their concerns with me, and in some cases I have been able to appropriately assuage their fears; in the end, these people came and were glad they did. But some had legitimate concerns or were simply unwilling to budge -- including some close friends and collaborators. I respect their concerns and opinions, and we have continued to work together even though I know they will never visit. I do not think any less of them for this, and I believe they do not think less of me for working in this country.



My recommendation is to just be honest, but don't let your concerns evolve into a debate over political issues in your colleague's host country.






share|improve this answer

































    7














    This answer assumes that the professor is reasonable. If you know them, use your social skills to judge whether they are reasonable.



    Tell the professor that you don't want to go there for the reason you told us. They will understand (since they are reasonable). If possible, make another suggestion how you can achieve the goal you had.






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    • The OP's title should suffice. If they wish to expound on it, that's their prerogative. +1

      – Mazura
      3 hours ago



















    1














    I understand that this is an awkward situation but I recommend being honest about it. Remember that being honest doesn't mean you have to be rude, aggressive or confrontational. Make sure that it doesn't look like you're blaming the professor personally for the situation in their country.



    The problem with making up excuses is that this professor wants to work with you, so will try to help you overcome whatever reason you state.




    • "I can't afford to travel there." – "That's OK, I have some spare money on my grant!"


    • "I'm really busy this summer." – "That's OK, let's wait until autumn!"


    • "I'll find it difficult to get a visa." – "That's OK, our departmental administrator (CC'ed) is great at getting visas for people!"



    Now, hopefully, we can continue that list with the real reason "I'm sorry but I'm really uncomfortable about visiting your country because XYZ" and the professor will try to help you out with that, too. Maybe the professor can help allay your fears or give practical help to avoid the problems; maybe they can't but you can find some other way of working together.



    All of the above is based on the assumption that you know the professor and you're confident that he or she doesn't engage in or approve of the things you object to in their country. If you suspect the professor isn't "on your side", then you presumably don't want to work with them under any circumstances and that's a rather different issue. If you say you're uncomfortable about XYZ and their response is to justify XYZ, that would definitely be a time to disengage.






    share|improve this answer































      1














      One way forward is to ask the professor for their advice. Put the situation and your fears forward in a non-confrontational way. You could simply say, "Thank you for your invitation, etc. ... I'm concerned about visiting because of my ethnic background, what do you advise?" The professor may say it's unadvisable or it's fine. In either case you are not obliged to accept the advice. You could say, "Thank you so much for your advice ... I have decided on-balance that I would prefer not to visit, etc." Then you can suggest other possibilities, e.g. invite them, set up a live link, etc. etc.






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        5 Answers
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        5 Answers
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        active

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        36














        If I were you I'd have the same concerns. In fact, I'm not like you, and I have the same concerns.



        But don't confuse the people of Israel with its government. Certainly there are bad actors there, but I also know many Israelis who are more than decent people and oppose the government actions and attitudes that you worry about.



        That said, you may be wise to avoid such a trip. But don't assume, necessarily, that the professor would disagree with your true reasons. There is no way to predict, of course, since opinion about Israeli-Palestinian issues come in "all shades of grey" in Israel.



        If it is a question of meeting, rather than visiting the professor's institute, you might suggest meeting elsewhere, say at an international meeting.



        To flip it a bit, there are quite a lot of people in the world unwilling to visit the US because of recent trends and attitudes here - and some that are not so recent. And I won't visit Mexico, for example, though I love the place, not because the government is bad, but because of the danger of drug gangs and killings and an ineffective government.





        Note that I answered the question based on its original form which was tagged israel. However, the same concerns would apply in other contexts and there might be serious issues for some people visiting some countries. But my general advice still holds. Don't conflate the government of a place with its individual citizens. Some of them would support government actions and others would not. The world currently has far too much of this. I've actually known people who won't visit Germany because of its Nazi past, though, til recently at least, it has seemed completely redeemed.






        share|improve this answer





















        • 4





          It sounds like your latter paragraph is a major part of the OP's concern. Whatever the issues with politics may be, he's mainly worried about his personal safety and with whether the police and military will protect him if he is assaulted, or indeed whether they'll be the ones assaulting him. Mexico and then some, basically. :/

          – Graham
          yesterday






        • 2





          @Buffy I agree with your comment and I think it may be helpful to just remove the parts of your answer that would only apply to a specific country.

          – David Ketcheson
          11 hours ago
















        36














        If I were you I'd have the same concerns. In fact, I'm not like you, and I have the same concerns.



        But don't confuse the people of Israel with its government. Certainly there are bad actors there, but I also know many Israelis who are more than decent people and oppose the government actions and attitudes that you worry about.



        That said, you may be wise to avoid such a trip. But don't assume, necessarily, that the professor would disagree with your true reasons. There is no way to predict, of course, since opinion about Israeli-Palestinian issues come in "all shades of grey" in Israel.



        If it is a question of meeting, rather than visiting the professor's institute, you might suggest meeting elsewhere, say at an international meeting.



        To flip it a bit, there are quite a lot of people in the world unwilling to visit the US because of recent trends and attitudes here - and some that are not so recent. And I won't visit Mexico, for example, though I love the place, not because the government is bad, but because of the danger of drug gangs and killings and an ineffective government.





        Note that I answered the question based on its original form which was tagged israel. However, the same concerns would apply in other contexts and there might be serious issues for some people visiting some countries. But my general advice still holds. Don't conflate the government of a place with its individual citizens. Some of them would support government actions and others would not. The world currently has far too much of this. I've actually known people who won't visit Germany because of its Nazi past, though, til recently at least, it has seemed completely redeemed.






        share|improve this answer





















        • 4





          It sounds like your latter paragraph is a major part of the OP's concern. Whatever the issues with politics may be, he's mainly worried about his personal safety and with whether the police and military will protect him if he is assaulted, or indeed whether they'll be the ones assaulting him. Mexico and then some, basically. :/

          – Graham
          yesterday






        • 2





          @Buffy I agree with your comment and I think it may be helpful to just remove the parts of your answer that would only apply to a specific country.

          – David Ketcheson
          11 hours ago














        36












        36








        36







        If I were you I'd have the same concerns. In fact, I'm not like you, and I have the same concerns.



        But don't confuse the people of Israel with its government. Certainly there are bad actors there, but I also know many Israelis who are more than decent people and oppose the government actions and attitudes that you worry about.



        That said, you may be wise to avoid such a trip. But don't assume, necessarily, that the professor would disagree with your true reasons. There is no way to predict, of course, since opinion about Israeli-Palestinian issues come in "all shades of grey" in Israel.



        If it is a question of meeting, rather than visiting the professor's institute, you might suggest meeting elsewhere, say at an international meeting.



        To flip it a bit, there are quite a lot of people in the world unwilling to visit the US because of recent trends and attitudes here - and some that are not so recent. And I won't visit Mexico, for example, though I love the place, not because the government is bad, but because of the danger of drug gangs and killings and an ineffective government.





        Note that I answered the question based on its original form which was tagged israel. However, the same concerns would apply in other contexts and there might be serious issues for some people visiting some countries. But my general advice still holds. Don't conflate the government of a place with its individual citizens. Some of them would support government actions and others would not. The world currently has far too much of this. I've actually known people who won't visit Germany because of its Nazi past, though, til recently at least, it has seemed completely redeemed.






        share|improve this answer















        If I were you I'd have the same concerns. In fact, I'm not like you, and I have the same concerns.



        But don't confuse the people of Israel with its government. Certainly there are bad actors there, but I also know many Israelis who are more than decent people and oppose the government actions and attitudes that you worry about.



        That said, you may be wise to avoid such a trip. But don't assume, necessarily, that the professor would disagree with your true reasons. There is no way to predict, of course, since opinion about Israeli-Palestinian issues come in "all shades of grey" in Israel.



        If it is a question of meeting, rather than visiting the professor's institute, you might suggest meeting elsewhere, say at an international meeting.



        To flip it a bit, there are quite a lot of people in the world unwilling to visit the US because of recent trends and attitudes here - and some that are not so recent. And I won't visit Mexico, for example, though I love the place, not because the government is bad, but because of the danger of drug gangs and killings and an ineffective government.





        Note that I answered the question based on its original form which was tagged israel. However, the same concerns would apply in other contexts and there might be serious issues for some people visiting some countries. But my general advice still holds. Don't conflate the government of a place with its individual citizens. Some of them would support government actions and others would not. The world currently has far too much of this. I've actually known people who won't visit Germany because of its Nazi past, though, til recently at least, it has seemed completely redeemed.







        share|improve this answer














        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer








        edited 13 hours ago

























        answered yesterday









        BuffyBuffy

        52.5k15170261




        52.5k15170261








        • 4





          It sounds like your latter paragraph is a major part of the OP's concern. Whatever the issues with politics may be, he's mainly worried about his personal safety and with whether the police and military will protect him if he is assaulted, or indeed whether they'll be the ones assaulting him. Mexico and then some, basically. :/

          – Graham
          yesterday






        • 2





          @Buffy I agree with your comment and I think it may be helpful to just remove the parts of your answer that would only apply to a specific country.

          – David Ketcheson
          11 hours ago














        • 4





          It sounds like your latter paragraph is a major part of the OP's concern. Whatever the issues with politics may be, he's mainly worried about his personal safety and with whether the police and military will protect him if he is assaulted, or indeed whether they'll be the ones assaulting him. Mexico and then some, basically. :/

          – Graham
          yesterday






        • 2





          @Buffy I agree with your comment and I think it may be helpful to just remove the parts of your answer that would only apply to a specific country.

          – David Ketcheson
          11 hours ago








        4




        4





        It sounds like your latter paragraph is a major part of the OP's concern. Whatever the issues with politics may be, he's mainly worried about his personal safety and with whether the police and military will protect him if he is assaulted, or indeed whether they'll be the ones assaulting him. Mexico and then some, basically. :/

        – Graham
        yesterday





        It sounds like your latter paragraph is a major part of the OP's concern. Whatever the issues with politics may be, he's mainly worried about his personal safety and with whether the police and military will protect him if he is assaulted, or indeed whether they'll be the ones assaulting him. Mexico and then some, basically. :/

        – Graham
        yesterday




        2




        2





        @Buffy I agree with your comment and I think it may be helpful to just remove the parts of your answer that would only apply to a specific country.

        – David Ketcheson
        11 hours ago





        @Buffy I agree with your comment and I think it may be helpful to just remove the parts of your answer that would only apply to a specific country.

        – David Ketcheson
        11 hours ago











        16














        I work in a country where a few colleagues do not wish to visit, for various reasons. Some of these reasons are based on accurate perceptions and others are not. Some of those colleagues have been willing to frankly discuss their concerns with me, and in some cases I have been able to appropriately assuage their fears; in the end, these people came and were glad they did. But some had legitimate concerns or were simply unwilling to budge -- including some close friends and collaborators. I respect their concerns and opinions, and we have continued to work together even though I know they will never visit. I do not think any less of them for this, and I believe they do not think less of me for working in this country.



        My recommendation is to just be honest, but don't let your concerns evolve into a debate over political issues in your colleague's host country.






        share|improve this answer






























          16














          I work in a country where a few colleagues do not wish to visit, for various reasons. Some of these reasons are based on accurate perceptions and others are not. Some of those colleagues have been willing to frankly discuss their concerns with me, and in some cases I have been able to appropriately assuage their fears; in the end, these people came and were glad they did. But some had legitimate concerns or were simply unwilling to budge -- including some close friends and collaborators. I respect their concerns and opinions, and we have continued to work together even though I know they will never visit. I do not think any less of them for this, and I believe they do not think less of me for working in this country.



          My recommendation is to just be honest, but don't let your concerns evolve into a debate over political issues in your colleague's host country.






          share|improve this answer




























            16












            16








            16







            I work in a country where a few colleagues do not wish to visit, for various reasons. Some of these reasons are based on accurate perceptions and others are not. Some of those colleagues have been willing to frankly discuss their concerns with me, and in some cases I have been able to appropriately assuage their fears; in the end, these people came and were glad they did. But some had legitimate concerns or were simply unwilling to budge -- including some close friends and collaborators. I respect their concerns and opinions, and we have continued to work together even though I know they will never visit. I do not think any less of them for this, and I believe they do not think less of me for working in this country.



            My recommendation is to just be honest, but don't let your concerns evolve into a debate over political issues in your colleague's host country.






            share|improve this answer















            I work in a country where a few colleagues do not wish to visit, for various reasons. Some of these reasons are based on accurate perceptions and others are not. Some of those colleagues have been willing to frankly discuss their concerns with me, and in some cases I have been able to appropriately assuage their fears; in the end, these people came and were glad they did. But some had legitimate concerns or were simply unwilling to budge -- including some close friends and collaborators. I respect their concerns and opinions, and we have continued to work together even though I know they will never visit. I do not think any less of them for this, and I believe they do not think less of me for working in this country.



            My recommendation is to just be honest, but don't let your concerns evolve into a debate over political issues in your colleague's host country.







            share|improve this answer














            share|improve this answer



            share|improve this answer








            edited 19 hours ago

























            answered yesterday









            David KetchesonDavid Ketcheson

            28.6k686140




            28.6k686140























                7














                This answer assumes that the professor is reasonable. If you know them, use your social skills to judge whether they are reasonable.



                Tell the professor that you don't want to go there for the reason you told us. They will understand (since they are reasonable). If possible, make another suggestion how you can achieve the goal you had.






                share|improve this answer








                New contributor




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                • The OP's title should suffice. If they wish to expound on it, that's their prerogative. +1

                  – Mazura
                  3 hours ago
















                7














                This answer assumes that the professor is reasonable. If you know them, use your social skills to judge whether they are reasonable.



                Tell the professor that you don't want to go there for the reason you told us. They will understand (since they are reasonable). If possible, make another suggestion how you can achieve the goal you had.






                share|improve this answer








                New contributor




                user105595 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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                • The OP's title should suffice. If they wish to expound on it, that's their prerogative. +1

                  – Mazura
                  3 hours ago














                7












                7








                7







                This answer assumes that the professor is reasonable. If you know them, use your social skills to judge whether they are reasonable.



                Tell the professor that you don't want to go there for the reason you told us. They will understand (since they are reasonable). If possible, make another suggestion how you can achieve the goal you had.






                share|improve this answer








                New contributor




                user105595 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                Check out our Code of Conduct.










                This answer assumes that the professor is reasonable. If you know them, use your social skills to judge whether they are reasonable.



                Tell the professor that you don't want to go there for the reason you told us. They will understand (since they are reasonable). If possible, make another suggestion how you can achieve the goal you had.







                share|improve this answer








                New contributor




                user105595 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                Check out our Code of Conduct.









                share|improve this answer



                share|improve this answer






                New contributor




                user105595 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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                answered yesterday









                user105595user105595

                811




                811




                New contributor




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                New contributor





                user105595 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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                user105595 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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                • The OP's title should suffice. If they wish to expound on it, that's their prerogative. +1

                  – Mazura
                  3 hours ago



















                • The OP's title should suffice. If they wish to expound on it, that's their prerogative. +1

                  – Mazura
                  3 hours ago

















                The OP's title should suffice. If they wish to expound on it, that's their prerogative. +1

                – Mazura
                3 hours ago





                The OP's title should suffice. If they wish to expound on it, that's their prerogative. +1

                – Mazura
                3 hours ago











                1














                I understand that this is an awkward situation but I recommend being honest about it. Remember that being honest doesn't mean you have to be rude, aggressive or confrontational. Make sure that it doesn't look like you're blaming the professor personally for the situation in their country.



                The problem with making up excuses is that this professor wants to work with you, so will try to help you overcome whatever reason you state.




                • "I can't afford to travel there." – "That's OK, I have some spare money on my grant!"


                • "I'm really busy this summer." – "That's OK, let's wait until autumn!"


                • "I'll find it difficult to get a visa." – "That's OK, our departmental administrator (CC'ed) is great at getting visas for people!"



                Now, hopefully, we can continue that list with the real reason "I'm sorry but I'm really uncomfortable about visiting your country because XYZ" and the professor will try to help you out with that, too. Maybe the professor can help allay your fears or give practical help to avoid the problems; maybe they can't but you can find some other way of working together.



                All of the above is based on the assumption that you know the professor and you're confident that he or she doesn't engage in or approve of the things you object to in their country. If you suspect the professor isn't "on your side", then you presumably don't want to work with them under any circumstances and that's a rather different issue. If you say you're uncomfortable about XYZ and their response is to justify XYZ, that would definitely be a time to disengage.






                share|improve this answer




























                  1














                  I understand that this is an awkward situation but I recommend being honest about it. Remember that being honest doesn't mean you have to be rude, aggressive or confrontational. Make sure that it doesn't look like you're blaming the professor personally for the situation in their country.



                  The problem with making up excuses is that this professor wants to work with you, so will try to help you overcome whatever reason you state.




                  • "I can't afford to travel there." – "That's OK, I have some spare money on my grant!"


                  • "I'm really busy this summer." – "That's OK, let's wait until autumn!"


                  • "I'll find it difficult to get a visa." – "That's OK, our departmental administrator (CC'ed) is great at getting visas for people!"



                  Now, hopefully, we can continue that list with the real reason "I'm sorry but I'm really uncomfortable about visiting your country because XYZ" and the professor will try to help you out with that, too. Maybe the professor can help allay your fears or give practical help to avoid the problems; maybe they can't but you can find some other way of working together.



                  All of the above is based on the assumption that you know the professor and you're confident that he or she doesn't engage in or approve of the things you object to in their country. If you suspect the professor isn't "on your side", then you presumably don't want to work with them under any circumstances and that's a rather different issue. If you say you're uncomfortable about XYZ and their response is to justify XYZ, that would definitely be a time to disengage.






                  share|improve this answer


























                    1












                    1








                    1







                    I understand that this is an awkward situation but I recommend being honest about it. Remember that being honest doesn't mean you have to be rude, aggressive or confrontational. Make sure that it doesn't look like you're blaming the professor personally for the situation in their country.



                    The problem with making up excuses is that this professor wants to work with you, so will try to help you overcome whatever reason you state.




                    • "I can't afford to travel there." – "That's OK, I have some spare money on my grant!"


                    • "I'm really busy this summer." – "That's OK, let's wait until autumn!"


                    • "I'll find it difficult to get a visa." – "That's OK, our departmental administrator (CC'ed) is great at getting visas for people!"



                    Now, hopefully, we can continue that list with the real reason "I'm sorry but I'm really uncomfortable about visiting your country because XYZ" and the professor will try to help you out with that, too. Maybe the professor can help allay your fears or give practical help to avoid the problems; maybe they can't but you can find some other way of working together.



                    All of the above is based on the assumption that you know the professor and you're confident that he or she doesn't engage in or approve of the things you object to in their country. If you suspect the professor isn't "on your side", then you presumably don't want to work with them under any circumstances and that's a rather different issue. If you say you're uncomfortable about XYZ and their response is to justify XYZ, that would definitely be a time to disengage.






                    share|improve this answer













                    I understand that this is an awkward situation but I recommend being honest about it. Remember that being honest doesn't mean you have to be rude, aggressive or confrontational. Make sure that it doesn't look like you're blaming the professor personally for the situation in their country.



                    The problem with making up excuses is that this professor wants to work with you, so will try to help you overcome whatever reason you state.




                    • "I can't afford to travel there." – "That's OK, I have some spare money on my grant!"


                    • "I'm really busy this summer." – "That's OK, let's wait until autumn!"


                    • "I'll find it difficult to get a visa." – "That's OK, our departmental administrator (CC'ed) is great at getting visas for people!"



                    Now, hopefully, we can continue that list with the real reason "I'm sorry but I'm really uncomfortable about visiting your country because XYZ" and the professor will try to help you out with that, too. Maybe the professor can help allay your fears or give practical help to avoid the problems; maybe they can't but you can find some other way of working together.



                    All of the above is based on the assumption that you know the professor and you're confident that he or she doesn't engage in or approve of the things you object to in their country. If you suspect the professor isn't "on your side", then you presumably don't want to work with them under any circumstances and that's a rather different issue. If you say you're uncomfortable about XYZ and their response is to justify XYZ, that would definitely be a time to disengage.







                    share|improve this answer












                    share|improve this answer



                    share|improve this answer










                    answered 6 hours ago









                    David RicherbyDavid Richerby

                    29.7k661125




                    29.7k661125























                        1














                        One way forward is to ask the professor for their advice. Put the situation and your fears forward in a non-confrontational way. You could simply say, "Thank you for your invitation, etc. ... I'm concerned about visiting because of my ethnic background, what do you advise?" The professor may say it's unadvisable or it's fine. In either case you are not obliged to accept the advice. You could say, "Thank you so much for your advice ... I have decided on-balance that I would prefer not to visit, etc." Then you can suggest other possibilities, e.g. invite them, set up a live link, etc. etc.






                        share|improve this answer




























                          1














                          One way forward is to ask the professor for their advice. Put the situation and your fears forward in a non-confrontational way. You could simply say, "Thank you for your invitation, etc. ... I'm concerned about visiting because of my ethnic background, what do you advise?" The professor may say it's unadvisable or it's fine. In either case you are not obliged to accept the advice. You could say, "Thank you so much for your advice ... I have decided on-balance that I would prefer not to visit, etc." Then you can suggest other possibilities, e.g. invite them, set up a live link, etc. etc.






                          share|improve this answer


























                            1












                            1








                            1







                            One way forward is to ask the professor for their advice. Put the situation and your fears forward in a non-confrontational way. You could simply say, "Thank you for your invitation, etc. ... I'm concerned about visiting because of my ethnic background, what do you advise?" The professor may say it's unadvisable or it's fine. In either case you are not obliged to accept the advice. You could say, "Thank you so much for your advice ... I have decided on-balance that I would prefer not to visit, etc." Then you can suggest other possibilities, e.g. invite them, set up a live link, etc. etc.






                            share|improve this answer













                            One way forward is to ask the professor for their advice. Put the situation and your fears forward in a non-confrontational way. You could simply say, "Thank you for your invitation, etc. ... I'm concerned about visiting because of my ethnic background, what do you advise?" The professor may say it's unadvisable or it's fine. In either case you are not obliged to accept the advice. You could say, "Thank you so much for your advice ... I have decided on-balance that I would prefer not to visit, etc." Then you can suggest other possibilities, e.g. invite them, set up a live link, etc. etc.







                            share|improve this answer












                            share|improve this answer



                            share|improve this answer










                            answered 6 hours ago









                            chasly from UKchasly from UK

                            1,008312




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